Pushing buttons

This afternoon my co worker MA, who's getting over a bad cold, had a sneezing and coughing fit. She apologized after it was over and she got to talking that at least she's able to blow her own nose and get un-stuffed on her own. She then told me about her little niece who as an infant was terribly stuffed up and could barely breathe. The baby was unable to blow her nose so MA's sister, the niece's mother, handed MA the baby and this device to stick down the baby's nostrils to drain her. The niece screamed and cried, but the device worked.

MA was obviously traumatized by this as she went on about having to hold this precious baby and having to hurt her. I observe that may be the case, but if the baby was unable to breathe than certainly the benefit outweighed the momentary pain the device caused. MA remarked that's the kind of remark she would expect from me.

I then remembered my pet dachsund Max I had as a child and teenager. When Max got older, he would often sneeze and snot would be dripping from his nose. A couple of times my mother and I would put a kleenex to his nose and urge him to blow. We knew he wouldn't but one never knows with dogs. I considered telling MA this story to lighten the mood, but then I though it would offend her, but then I thought, oh why not. So I said, "your story reminds me of what happened to my pet dachsund".

Sure enough she got all huffy and offended and said there is no comparison between a precious little baby, a little human, her niece and my pet dachsund. She went on in this vein for several minutes while I nodded my head and thinking to myself, "I just learned how to push your buttons!". Finally I admitted she was right and returned to my work. A few minutes later she comes to my cubicle to tell me once again how traumatizing this incident with the nasal device was. I asked her how long ago did this event occur.

Over 20 years ago. She went on to say this was her favorite niece and she has always been like a daughter to her. MA said she was bringing this up because it's not correct to talk light about such matters or to offer to tell a story in order to lighten the mood. This is serious business and feelings must be respected.

Aye--beware of closeted lesbians who were never able to bear their own children and are unable to move beyond emotionally traumatic moments. MA obviously lives vicariously through her siblings' offspring. While I give her credit for not mating with a man and having a child of her own, she could have found other ways to raise her own child. I've certainly known enough parents who after time passes are able to find some humor in either the event itself (that is, when the child survives) or in a related story (again, when the child survives). My parents and sister love to tell the story of how as a dumb 3 year old I jumped into the deep end of a Holiday Inn swimming pool and almost drowned if someone hadn't jumped in to rescue stupid me who didn't know hot to swim. God knows my family has its individual drawbacks, but I venture to say they're like most people and are able to emotionally evolve from the circumstances of a non fatal serious incident involving a small child.

So You Think You Can Dance July 30

Good show tonight. So glad boring Will is gone. I hope Twitch gets the
ditch tomorrow night. Chelsie outdanced him on that mambo, Twitch can
only do hip hop, otherwise the choreographers have to dumb down their
routines.

Mark and Courtney's French Burlesques Jazz was the best of the night.
Mark is so hot wearing guyliner and those moves he made! He's got a
Johnny Depp of Dance quality to him.

Great to see Joshua and Katee back together. I enjoyed both their
dances.

Paula Abdul was in the audience tonight. She must have shared some of
her punch pre show with Mary Murphy as Mary was getting weepy after
every dance.

I don't which two girls make the final 4 as all 3 are impresssive.
Just so long as Joshua and Mark get more votes than Twitch. And I did my part by voting for Mark 20 times tonight. First time this season I've voted.

Earthquake

Today we had an earthquake in LA. Registered about 5.4 on the Richter scale. I've been through a few other quakes--one in the early 80's in Kalamazoo Michigan. Yes, Michigan. There was a huge tremor down in Illinois and it was felt up in Kalamazoo. I remember being out in my driveway shooting baskets one overcast afternoon when all of sudden it got quiet and I felt a bit of rumble beneath me. It was strange. Later I heard on the news that we indeed had experienced a "quake".

IN San Francisco I experienced a couple of quakes. Once while I was at work at this stupid public policy institute, the other one evening at home. I remember the girl in the apartment below me started screaming when the ground started to shake. At first I thought she was having an orgasm of some sort as she and her boyfriend were rather loud in their sex, but no, it was the quake that was rocking her, not her man.

Today's quake felt like a rickety old carnival ride one might find at Coney Island (tells you where I feel my home really is). Afterwards, several people in the office turned on the radios. Got the basic info, then the station went into overkill trying to cover this "disaster". Fortunately no one died and there was no severe damage, but the stations are geared up for this sort of coverage, though after about 15 minutes the low level sustained hysteria that local news likes to assume whenever weird weather or ghastly geology occurs began to get on my nerves.

Broken computer

Two weeks ago my computer got hit with a nasty virus. I managed to have it remotely removed by the manufacturer. 4 days later I got the same virus and this time the remote repair didn't take hold. So last saturday I took my PC to my nearby Staples to get it fixed. I got the PC back yesterday. It's fixed, sort of. But there are some quirks that I'm dealing with which may explode on me. We'll see what happens.

First Day

Today was my "first day" at the Guild. Not too much different than it's been. Except my teammates threw a little welcome party for me, complete with cake, flowers and a card. It was very nice of them. In addition, during my break, I ran into someone from residuals who gave me a big hug when I told her I was now permanent. Such a contrast to UCLA, in which I was greeted with glares, frowns and looks of suspicion, put into a windowless office (as my promised cubicle hadn't been built), and ordered to read several large policy manuals. Later in the day, I got an email from my boss with a 4 page word attachment describing the office dress and grooming codes. Sweet. I prefer the Guild, even if I'm making less than half what UCLA was paying me.

Another good thing about my office at the Guild--the wall in my area is adorned with portraits of Natalie Wood/Steve McQueen in Love with a Proper Stranger; Gregory Peck in Duel in the Sun and Monty and Liz in A Place in the Sun. Classic movie star eye candy certainly works for me.

Also, my annoying colleague MA is out for the entire week!

She's Lost Control

Ok, I'm in a full scale Joy Division wallow right now. This weekend I purchased the DVDs for Control and a documentary on the band. I watched the documentary last night. Mesmerizing. On my docket of books to read: Piece by Piece: Writing about Joy Division. I'll probably get their two albums at some point this summer, when finances allow. I'll write more about them at some point as I want to digest and analyze. But here's a video of their 1979 performance of She's Lost Control on Granada Television. Lead singer Ian Curtis has such an charismatic, eerrie presence.

Peace and quiet

For the first time since I started at the Guild, my obnoxious co worker MA wasn't there. What a difference. I could relax. Though most everyone in the office seems to like her, I think she's a black hole of negativity and stupidity. Friday she asked me how "Tear-rin" was spelled. I had never heard of such a word and asked her to repeat it to me twice. She was appalled that I had never heard of "Tear-rin"--she told it's the capital of Iran. I informed her of the correct pronunciation and spelling. She was embarrassed that she had mispronounced the word and she became passive aggressive and demanded to know where I might have heard such a pronunciation. I replied "NPR".

Blank look.

I hope she's out for a couple more days.

Tomorrow is my official first day at the Guild. I'm permanently employeed again.

I got hired

The Guild offered me the position today. I accepted. Monday will be my last day temping as I will be signing my hiring papers. Tuesday I'm come on to the Guild as an official employee. It's going to be difficult to make ends meet and save a few dollars to boot for a while, but I'll figure it out. I survived being fired just fine, so I can pull this off as well. And people throughout history have gone through far, far, far worst things than what I've experienced the past year so I should stop whining and buckle down.

I'm rewarding myself this weekend. I bought Control and a documentary on Joy Division. Tomorrow off to Skylight Books to get a book on Joy Division. And finally I'm going to buy a fedora. That's what I promised msyelf if I got the job from the Guild. Once I complete my little shopping spree, back to austerity. Good thing I have a high tolerance for Tina Burritos, lol.

Bad case of Homesickness this morning

I woke up around 5AM this morning and couldn't really get back to sleep. I was feeling quite homesick for NYC and I was wondering what the hell am I doing in LA? Obviously a reaction to my talk with Guild HR about the job I'm applying for. In addition I had a nice little chat with a New Yorker in my office about Penn Station and Grand Central Station.

After I got up to make my breakfast, I checked my email. My former boss in NYC emailed me to inform me that the head of the HSS IRB had contacted her about me. Earlier this week I had applied for an IRB job at HSS. My boss told me that I could easily walk into the position. I felt elated and in my reply I thanked her profusely. I then went on to inform my two other references in NYC that I had applied for the job at HSS. I think I needed to feel wanted and my boss' email fulfilled that need. I was a bit cranky and out of sorts my first hour at the office as I compared what would likely be a decently compensated position in NYC to what i would be doing at the Guild. Fortunately I got out of my funk by heading upstairs to take my very unchallenging tests. I did well. Now they have to contact my references. I'm feeling better about the Guild position and what I'll need to do to survive the next 6 months if I'm offered the position. But I'm still feeling quite ambivalent about my future here in LA. Perhaps if I can just get settled and make a few more friends or have some more outlets besides office, apartment and internet, I won't long so much for NYC. Anyway, if I get the Guild offer, I'll accept and carry on, but with an eye out for something better that may come up in New York.

Comfort and Thayne got the boot on So You Think You Can Dance. Big shock! I so hope judges pet Will gets the axe next week.

So You Think You Can Dance Top 12

Rankings: 1. Mark/Chelsie 2. Gev/Courtney 3. Joshua/Katee 4. Will/Jessica 5 (tie) Thayne/Comfort and Twitchington

Thayne looked hot tonight I thought, but he's toast, though I think Twitch deserves to got, but he's been pimped and probably won't make bottom 3.

Time for Comfort to go, but if Jessica ends up bottom 3, Comfort may last another week.

I really hope Will gets the boot next week. He's talented, but the judges have given him a free pass all season, it would serve them right to see Will get axed once all power switches to the voters.

Mary was great tonight--kept the volume under control for the most part and had some great comments. I like Mia Michaels, though she can be obnoxious. I wish Nigel would step down and Dan could take his place as a permanent judge.

Great to see Pasha tonight. I hope he gets to do another number this season. Rather see him than Benji.

Who'd thought that Tyce would create two of the best numbers tonight?

Going home? Easy, Thayne and Comfort.

Second thoughts and mixed emotions

Today I submitted my application for the entry level position at the Guild. The HR person gave me a brief overview of the position. It served as a reality check. I already knew that the pay was low and that benefits would not kick in immediately, but I learned that I would have to join an office workers Union and have dues remove each month as well as pay an initiation fee. And I was informed of what my yearly income would be starting out. It's lower than what I made my first year in New York.

Well, I did say I was willing to start all over again. So time to weigh the pros and cons:

Pros:

-I would be starting a job and hopefully a new career in a field I've always wanted to be in.

-AFter 6 months I can apply for internal positions, both in LA and NYC. The Guild prefers to promote from within. And the Guild has departments that especially interest me such as Awards, Research and Film Society.

-My commute will be a 15 minute walk to work.

Cons:

-The pay and union dues

-A number of the people who work there are, quite frankly, dead enders. They're there until retirment. I fear it could happen to me and I won't get out of that particular department--don't know if there's a prejudice against this department. On the other hand, I've heard of people who have left there and moved on to better positions within the Guild. So I guess I just have to pay those dues as well.

Tomorrow I take my tests--typing, filing, math, grammar. Hopefully I'll pass.

By the end of the work day, I've decided that if offered the position I'll take it. But if there are interesting jobs that open in NYC, I'll apply. And to supplement my income, I'll look for a part time weekend job--perhaps in a bookstore or maybe my current temp agency can find me some data entry jobs to do on saturdays at some office. Also, perhaps the Obama campaign needs some part time paid data entry people? Probably not, given the enthusiasm for him, I'm sure there are plenty of people who are willing to work for him for free.

Anyway, it was a bit of a shock when I heard about the Union dues and piddly wage I'll be making. For a while this morning I was considering accepting any decent offer that might come from Michigan, but I'm at peace that I'm going to be basically poverty bound for the next 6-12 months.

Apathetic day

Today was pretty much a crawl as I went from home to work to lunch to work and home today without much thought or enthusiasm. Routine can make one a sleepwalker. I think my state of apathy had two root causes--one: I'm waiting for Wednesday to come around to find out if I'll be able to apply for the job at the Guild and two: Alas, I didn't leave the square this weekend, which I aim to do. Nothing like locking myself in my boundaries. I'm going to make sure that if nothing else, I get on a downtown bus saturday and visit the main branch of the public library.

Waiting Game

Well this coming week should see an end to a couple of waiting games. Wednesday I'll find out if any internal candidates applied for the open position at the Guild. If not, the ball will start rolling for me to get a permanent job. But if there's a qualified internal, then my assignment will wrap up and it will be on to the next.

Univ. of Michigan sent me an email on July 4 (not a good sign in of itself) informing me that more officials are on vacation so no decision will be rendered until later this week or the week of the 14th. That's fine.

If I do get the job at the Guild, one of the first things I'm going to do is buy a radio for my cubicle. Friday I had to endure listening to my co worker MA talk all day with another employee about cute nieces and adorable babies. Nearly every anecdote ended with an "Awwwww!". That radio of mine is going to be tuned into NPR, classical and jazz stations to serve as an intellectual anecdote to the plethora of cloying cute conversation I'm going to have to endure.

Rignt now I'm reading Race by Studs Terke. Published in 1992, Race served as a "sequel" of sorts to his mid 60's book Division Street-America. Once again, Terkel interview primarily white and Black residents of Chicago and asked about their opinions and stories about race, progress, class. I read the book about 10 years ago and given the rise of the Obama candidacy, I thought it would be good to revisit Race and Terkel as Terkel has roots and great sympathy in community organizing in Chicago, which is where Obama started his career.

Dancing tonight

This will be short as in a half hour TCM is going to show the 1939 movie The Dancing Coed starring on the brink of stardom Lana Turner and the man who would be the first of her 7 husbands, Artie Shaw.

So You Think You Can Dance was overstuffed tonight with routines. I wished it had been an hour show with each couple going once. Mark is still my favorite of the dancers and he did well, but Katee and Joshua had the best dance of the night with their Mia Michaels dance--so fiercely performed.

Comfort and Thayne and Matt and Kourtney are sure to be in the bottom 3. Not sure who will be the third, but I'll guess Gev and Courtney.

Comic Books

Last week, the co worker whom I've discussed here loaned me one of her comic books/graphic novels. The first part of the reissued Batman series by Frank Miller. I promised I would read it even though I've never cared for comic books. So this sunday I sat down and read it. The artwork was impressive and Miller has a good sense of plotting and generating some suspence. The material is certainly not geared to little kids. And I enjoyed how the Catwoman subplot was weaved into the story. The comic ends with a resolution of one storyline, but with others unresolved. Very much in keeping with soap opera plotting.

However I just didn't care much for it. Despite the adult themes, I found Batman to be juvenile and simplistic. Despite the plotting, the medium of comic books is still geared toward the simpleminded and comics' popularity amongst those who aged beyond early adolescence is an indication of cultural infantilization. Excessive fantasizing about superheroes who can provide a deus ex machina type resolutions to problems is just sad after a certain age. I like my escapism as well, but I prefer that it would be somewhat grounded in how the world really is. As for this noir version of Batman, I rather read James Ellroy for a more nuanced take on crime and the city.