Pushing buttons

This afternoon my co worker MA, who's getting over a bad cold, had a sneezing and coughing fit. She apologized after it was over and she got to talking that at least she's able to blow her own nose and get un-stuffed on her own. She then told me about her little niece who as an infant was terribly stuffed up and could barely breathe. The baby was unable to blow her nose so MA's sister, the niece's mother, handed MA the baby and this device to stick down the baby's nostrils to drain her. The niece screamed and cried, but the device worked.

MA was obviously traumatized by this as she went on about having to hold this precious baby and having to hurt her. I observe that may be the case, but if the baby was unable to breathe than certainly the benefit outweighed the momentary pain the device caused. MA remarked that's the kind of remark she would expect from me.

I then remembered my pet dachsund Max I had as a child and teenager. When Max got older, he would often sneeze and snot would be dripping from his nose. A couple of times my mother and I would put a kleenex to his nose and urge him to blow. We knew he wouldn't but one never knows with dogs. I considered telling MA this story to lighten the mood, but then I though it would offend her, but then I thought, oh why not. So I said, "your story reminds me of what happened to my pet dachsund".

Sure enough she got all huffy and offended and said there is no comparison between a precious little baby, a little human, her niece and my pet dachsund. She went on in this vein for several minutes while I nodded my head and thinking to myself, "I just learned how to push your buttons!". Finally I admitted she was right and returned to my work. A few minutes later she comes to my cubicle to tell me once again how traumatizing this incident with the nasal device was. I asked her how long ago did this event occur.

Over 20 years ago. She went on to say this was her favorite niece and she has always been like a daughter to her. MA said she was bringing this up because it's not correct to talk light about such matters or to offer to tell a story in order to lighten the mood. This is serious business and feelings must be respected.

Aye--beware of closeted lesbians who were never able to bear their own children and are unable to move beyond emotionally traumatic moments. MA obviously lives vicariously through her siblings' offspring. While I give her credit for not mating with a man and having a child of her own, she could have found other ways to raise her own child. I've certainly known enough parents who after time passes are able to find some humor in either the event itself (that is, when the child survives) or in a related story (again, when the child survives). My parents and sister love to tell the story of how as a dumb 3 year old I jumped into the deep end of a Holiday Inn swimming pool and almost drowned if someone hadn't jumped in to rescue stupid me who didn't know hot to swim. God knows my family has its individual drawbacks, but I venture to say they're like most people and are able to emotionally evolve from the circumstances of a non fatal serious incident involving a small child.