Last week I sat around waiting to find out if any internal candidate applied for the open position within the Guild. Someone did and passed the tests. But the good news is that the guy who applied works within the office and now his position is open. Now I have another week or so to wait. I've been assured no one internal will apply for it because it's entry level. Yay, I'm going for the big bucks! But as I wrote after I got fired, I'm willing to start all over at the bottom if it the work's in a field I'm well suited for. And as a former actor with the gift for pushing paper, I'm well suited for the Guild.
No word yet from UM. Hopefully they'll make an offer to the other candidate.
Had another depressing conversation with my mother sunday. My father is in the hospital again. No particular reason, he's just sitting around waiting to die. It's all in his head. I think if I compromised and headed back to Michigan I would be making the same mistake my father made long ago. I remember one time he told me he always wished he had been able to live in a large cosmopolitan city like Paris. Well he settled for Kalamazoo and he did well there. But then he and mother chose to retire to Hillsdale. My mother wanted to recreate the ideal image of her childhood hometown. My father moved because he was mad Western Michigan University practiced affirmative action to fill his spot on the faculty. What a stupid reason to move. Shortly after they moved, my father instantly regretted leaving Kalamazoo and was thinking of moving back and living in an apartment. I wish he had. He's never been happy there. He had his work to keep him occupied and breakfast out every day. But now he no longer has any interest in writing. He just sleeps or feels sorry for himself. What a sad, pathetic way to wind down a life. When I think of other people I've met in NYC who are in their 70's, 80's and 90's who are still engaged with life and keeping busy, I just get mad at my father. Perhaps he might be still be in the same mental state if my parents had stayed in Kalamazoo, but I would like to think he would be a little bit happier. I might be a selfish, ungrateful bastard for refusing to move back to take care of them, but I don't want to end up like my father, stuck in a place for years on end out of obligation and committment. Emphasis on Committment.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Sunday, June 29, 2008
When fandoms degenerate
I'm a huge fan of The Supremes. In fact, a good chunk of my internet time has been devoted to forums dedicated to obsessive discussion of the premiere female singing group of the 60's and 70's, most specifically, supremestirfry, a yahoogroup I co-moderate.
The women who were in the group are all getting older and they're doing less and less. A couple of them are completely out of show business, while others are voluntarily or involuntarily winding down their careers. Thus product has been reduced. Furthermore, just about anything that they recorded for Motown has now been issued. So what's a die hard fan to do?
Produce their own product.
And oh how homemade can it be! A year ago, Florence Ballard's sister Maxine self published a memoir about Flo. It was poorly written and repetitive and featured anecdotes no one really needed to hear such as the girls' problems keeping their Kotex rags inserted during their periods. As a result, the book is now referred to by fans in the know as "The Kotex Khronicles". Other self published books have also come out, many of them written by die hard worshippers of Diana Ross seeking to even the score for Mary Wilson's books which provided a rather slanted and negative take on Ross.
Worse are music projects. One fan adopted a parrot and is teaching the parrot to sing the background parts on Supremes songs. Another fellow over in England has just recorded a CD worth of Supremes covers. Thin and pitchy do not begin to describe his vocal shortcomings. He has a MySpace. Go to the site and put in a search for Leo Boyle if you want to hear his take on these songs.
Finally, some filmmakers got together to shoot a movie entitled "In the Name of Love". It's a fictional take on the reunion of Diana Ross, Mary Wilson and Cindy Birdsong. It's a very low budget movie. Trailers for the movie can be viewed on youtube. The project is sincere, but alas, judging by the clips on youtube, little better than public access TV. A couple months ago the producers of In the Name of Love spent some money by booking a theater on Times Square to screen the film. I'm sure in hopes of getting a distributor. As far as I know, no one picked it up. I wonder if and when this movie will get another screening. Given the positive message of the movie, the makers might want to market it to church groups.
I'm fascinated by fandom and how fans find ways to participate in their idols' careers. Most of the projects I described are essentially harmless, but I worry that these fans might be deluding themselves when they put such time and effort into these woebegone projects. If their goals are modest, good for them, but if they're hoping that they will return The Supremes back to the top or to get rich from their project, they're sadly mistaken. It's best to remember the group for what they are and be cognizant that while the group may be number one in their own hearts, the larger popular culture moved on years ago, even if the group is fondly recalled and has etched a place in American pop culture history.
The women who were in the group are all getting older and they're doing less and less. A couple of them are completely out of show business, while others are voluntarily or involuntarily winding down their careers. Thus product has been reduced. Furthermore, just about anything that they recorded for Motown has now been issued. So what's a die hard fan to do?
Produce their own product.
And oh how homemade can it be! A year ago, Florence Ballard's sister Maxine self published a memoir about Flo. It was poorly written and repetitive and featured anecdotes no one really needed to hear such as the girls' problems keeping their Kotex rags inserted during their periods. As a result, the book is now referred to by fans in the know as "The Kotex Khronicles". Other self published books have also come out, many of them written by die hard worshippers of Diana Ross seeking to even the score for Mary Wilson's books which provided a rather slanted and negative take on Ross.
Worse are music projects. One fan adopted a parrot and is teaching the parrot to sing the background parts on Supremes songs. Another fellow over in England has just recorded a CD worth of Supremes covers. Thin and pitchy do not begin to describe his vocal shortcomings. He has a MySpace. Go to the site and put in a search for Leo Boyle if you want to hear his take on these songs.
Finally, some filmmakers got together to shoot a movie entitled "In the Name of Love". It's a fictional take on the reunion of Diana Ross, Mary Wilson and Cindy Birdsong. It's a very low budget movie. Trailers for the movie can be viewed on youtube. The project is sincere, but alas, judging by the clips on youtube, little better than public access TV. A couple months ago the producers of In the Name of Love spent some money by booking a theater on Times Square to screen the film. I'm sure in hopes of getting a distributor. As far as I know, no one picked it up. I wonder if and when this movie will get another screening. Given the positive message of the movie, the makers might want to market it to church groups.
I'm fascinated by fandom and how fans find ways to participate in their idols' careers. Most of the projects I described are essentially harmless, but I worry that these fans might be deluding themselves when they put such time and effort into these woebegone projects. If their goals are modest, good for them, but if they're hoping that they will return The Supremes back to the top or to get rich from their project, they're sadly mistaken. It's best to remember the group for what they are and be cognizant that while the group may be number one in their own hearts, the larger popular culture moved on years ago, even if the group is fondly recalled and has etched a place in American pop culture history.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
The Heat is On
Well my last blog was way too angsty. Actually I'm in a good mood. So here's some Rita Hayworth strutting her stuff in a number almost as hot as Put the Blame on Mame.
Pressure
Today I called up my sister to wish her a happy birthday. We don't speak very often as we are not close. There's no tension or feud or anything else of that sort, we're just 10 years apart in age so by the time I was becoming a somewhat functional child, she had moved out for college. I love her but our lives are very different. She's led a stable life, done all the right things (worked for the same company for over 20 years, risen through the ranks, married a good man, helped raise his kids). She has a nice life, all in all, and she's stayed in the midwest her whole life. She's had the burden of having to take care of my increasingly ailing parents all these years as I've been far away.
Well with the job loss, I was motivated to look for work in Michigan. That has raised the hopes of my family that I might return and share in the burden. My sister asked how my job search was coming and updated her on my situations with the UM IRB and the Guild. She asked if I would consider Columbus OH. I said I would and she gave me the names of some R & D companies that might have internal IRBs. As we kept talking I could feel the walls closing in. She remarked that it would be best at some point I get back on the other side of the Mississippi. On the plus side, that means NYC, but I've a feeling she would prefer (and by extent my parents would prefer) Michigan or Ohio. I changed the topic of the conversation to my sister's summer vacation plans as I was overwhelmed with feelings of suffocation. I may be a selfish SOB, but I just don't want to move back there. I don't belong there, I rather stay out in LA and struggle. In a way, it's flattering they want me to be closer, but if I did move back there, I don't think much would change. I'm very bland around. I shut down and tend not to express any strong opinions. As if I encounter problems, they're not people I would turn to. In the past 10 years, when I had to face something difficult such a bad health problem or a relationship bust up or my job going to hell, I confided in others and either kepy my parents and sister entirely out of the loop or informed them of the event a few days if not weeks after the fact. Case in point--my dismissal from UCLA. I called and emailed friends first--family was informed later on. That speaks volumes on whom I consider those I can turn to for meaningful support. Now it seems they're beginning to turn to me, but I don't feel that it would be reciprocated.
Well with the job loss, I was motivated to look for work in Michigan. That has raised the hopes of my family that I might return and share in the burden. My sister asked how my job search was coming and updated her on my situations with the UM IRB and the Guild. She asked if I would consider Columbus OH. I said I would and she gave me the names of some R & D companies that might have internal IRBs. As we kept talking I could feel the walls closing in. She remarked that it would be best at some point I get back on the other side of the Mississippi. On the plus side, that means NYC, but I've a feeling she would prefer (and by extent my parents would prefer) Michigan or Ohio. I changed the topic of the conversation to my sister's summer vacation plans as I was overwhelmed with feelings of suffocation. I may be a selfish SOB, but I just don't want to move back there. I don't belong there, I rather stay out in LA and struggle. In a way, it's flattering they want me to be closer, but if I did move back there, I don't think much would change. I'm very bland around. I shut down and tend not to express any strong opinions. As if I encounter problems, they're not people I would turn to. In the past 10 years, when I had to face something difficult such a bad health problem or a relationship bust up or my job going to hell, I confided in others and either kepy my parents and sister entirely out of the loop or informed them of the event a few days if not weeks after the fact. Case in point--my dismissal from UCLA. I called and emailed friends first--family was informed later on. That speaks volumes on whom I consider those I can turn to for meaningful support. Now it seems they're beginning to turn to me, but I don't feel that it would be reciprocated.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
So You think you can dance Top 16
IN the third week of competition, enough couples have been weeded out and enough couples have had enough chances to get out there to establish themselves that I can now pick a favorite to root for.
Mark is my favorite. His lyrical hip hop routine with his partner Chelsey to "Bleeding Love" was the dance of the night. They're a great partnership but Mark is incredibly talented and such a committed performer. He's very quirky yet oddly sexy. He's the one who has the potential to surprise every week and I hope he makes it to the final.
I enjoyed the latin dances by Gov and Courtney and by Joshua and his partner, though the old freestyle head that's me wished that Gov and Courtney had danced to the Cover Girls' version of Wishing on a Star rather than Rose Royce. I also liked the opening hip hop by Twitch and Kherington, even if Kherington needs to watch the smiling.
The comic book contemporary routine was also interesting.
Chris and Comfort, Will and Jessica and Thayne and Chelsea were the weakest tonight. I think they'll be bottom 3 and while solos can change everything, Jessica and Chris are in the most danger of being sent home.
I was annoyed that the judges told Will he's finally showing some personality. The past two weeks they've showered him with praise, not he's just beginning to show personality? He's talented, but he's been getting an easy ride from the judges, no doubt due to his Debbie Allen connection.
I love Cat Deely as the host. She isn't bitchy, passive agressive or touchy feely with the male contestants like Ryan Seacrest.
Mark is my favorite. His lyrical hip hop routine with his partner Chelsey to "Bleeding Love" was the dance of the night. They're a great partnership but Mark is incredibly talented and such a committed performer. He's very quirky yet oddly sexy. He's the one who has the potential to surprise every week and I hope he makes it to the final.
I enjoyed the latin dances by Gov and Courtney and by Joshua and his partner, though the old freestyle head that's me wished that Gov and Courtney had danced to the Cover Girls' version of Wishing on a Star rather than Rose Royce. I also liked the opening hip hop by Twitch and Kherington, even if Kherington needs to watch the smiling.
The comic book contemporary routine was also interesting.
Chris and Comfort, Will and Jessica and Thayne and Chelsea were the weakest tonight. I think they'll be bottom 3 and while solos can change everything, Jessica and Chris are in the most danger of being sent home.
I was annoyed that the judges told Will he's finally showing some personality. The past two weeks they've showered him with praise, not he's just beginning to show personality? He's talented, but he's been getting an easy ride from the judges, no doubt due to his Debbie Allen connection.
I love Cat Deely as the host. She isn't bitchy, passive agressive or touchy feely with the male contestants like Ryan Seacrest.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Chrystos
I've blogged several times about my co worker with the bad boundaries. I haven't really discussed what she looks like, but ever since I met her she reminded me of somebody and now I know who it is.
Chrystos.
Who is Chrystos? Well for starters, click on the subject tile of this post and it will take you to a site discussing her work. She's an esteemed "dyke identified native american poet".
How did I come across Chrystos? Well, she was the commencement speaker at my friend Kurt's graduation ceremony from San Francisco's New College School of Social Psychiatry. The school was steeped in identity politics so it stands to reason why Chrystos would be invited to speak.
Her inspiring message to these graduating, aspiring psychiatrists: Psychiatry as practice does more harm than good and that those with mental problems would be better off shutting themselves in a room by themselves for several years rather than go to a shrink. Oh yeah, in passing, Chrystos discussed being raped at the moment of her birth which furthered her disenchantment with the Medical Profession.
Not your typical graduation address, but I have to give Chrystos credit, she sure gave a memorable address and the same can't be said for most graduation talks, which are formulaic and steeped in cliche.
Chrystos.
Who is Chrystos? Well for starters, click on the subject tile of this post and it will take you to a site discussing her work. She's an esteemed "dyke identified native american poet".
How did I come across Chrystos? Well, she was the commencement speaker at my friend Kurt's graduation ceremony from San Francisco's New College School of Social Psychiatry. The school was steeped in identity politics so it stands to reason why Chrystos would be invited to speak.
Her inspiring message to these graduating, aspiring psychiatrists: Psychiatry as practice does more harm than good and that those with mental problems would be better off shutting themselves in a room by themselves for several years rather than go to a shrink. Oh yeah, in passing, Chrystos discussed being raped at the moment of her birth which furthered her disenchantment with the Medical Profession.
Not your typical graduation address, but I have to give Chrystos credit, she sure gave a memorable address and the same can't be said for most graduation talks, which are formulaic and steeped in cliche.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Gilbert and Garbo in Love
MGM came up with a great title for this 1928 filmed adaptation of Anna Karennia (sp.). Last night TCM screened the John Gilbert/Greta Garbo silent
film "Love". First time I've seen Garbo in a silent and she's so much better silent than talking and she's breattakingly beautiful. She and Gilbert were a hot couple
on screen and off. I'm not sure if Gilbert is all that handsome, but at
certain angles he's very attractive. He has the most beautiful and intense dark
eyes and he fills out a soldier's uniform really well. As a bonus,
TCM shows both endings to Love--the American "happy" ending and the
European "tragic" ending which is faithful to Tolstoy. Back in my days when I fantaszied about being a big movie star, I envisioned myself playing the title role in a biopic on John Gilbert. Ha! I sure had great commercial instincts. Still, his story would make a great movie--hammy silent screen lover done in by sound and becomes a self loathing and self destructive dipsomaniac.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
I should have stayed home and Fame Junkies
It was hellaciously hot here in LA this weekend so I stayed out of the sun and read two books.
First I completed McCoy's I Should Have Stayed Home. I was wrong in my assessment of the roommate Mona. She was not a hooker. Rather, she was a wise yet idealistic rabble rouser who rallied for the Screen Actors Guild. Of course she pays a price once the producers sign an agreement with SAG. Mona gets the best speech in the book as she rallies against the influence of the fan magazines and how it sells a false dream of easy stardom to the naive out in the hinterlands. The protagonist Ralph is the embodiment of naive--a young Southern hunk who comes out to Hollywood to become a star despite having no life experience and a thick Southern accent. Ralph's innocence and naivety are sometimes grating but by the end he finally wises up though his predictament is bleak.
Once I finished "I Should Have" I read Jake Halpern's 20007 non fiction book Fame Junkies. The book is divided into 3 sections. The second part and the least interesting, is focussed on personal assistants of the stars and various others who feed off the world of celebrity. The third part focuses on fans--those of the casual US/People/OK readership and the fanatics who latch their identities to a particular performer. In Fame Junkies, Halpern profiles a die hard Rod Stewart fan who has a room set aside as a Rod shrine, travels all over the world to see Stewart in concert and is a prime force in getting Stewart a star on the walk of fame. Her husband admits that if he hadn't force himself to become a Stewart fan, their marriage would have dissolved long ago. The chapter on the Rod fan made me realize (again) that for some people, star worhip is a religion and if anyone makes fun of this worship, you'll be courting the same sort of rage that devout Muslims express when a Danish paper publishes cartoons of the Prophet.
However the first part of Fame Junkies held the most resonance for me, given what I just read in the McCoy novel. Halpern examines the world of talent conventions/cattle calls where parents pay lots of money for their children to perform for agents. Sadly, very few of the kids are tapped for a follow up appointment, yet many of the kids and their families believe that stardom is just around the corner. Many of them, just like the characters in I Should Have Stayed Home, get their ideas of how the star system works from media, in the case of The Fame Junkies, shows like ET and Access Hollywood. It's all rather sad and pathetic.
I guess if I land a permanent job with the Guild and end up fielding phone calls, I should keep the lessons and portraits of the McCoy and Halpern books in mind as I'm going to be dealing with them.
First I completed McCoy's I Should Have Stayed Home. I was wrong in my assessment of the roommate Mona. She was not a hooker. Rather, she was a wise yet idealistic rabble rouser who rallied for the Screen Actors Guild. Of course she pays a price once the producers sign an agreement with SAG. Mona gets the best speech in the book as she rallies against the influence of the fan magazines and how it sells a false dream of easy stardom to the naive out in the hinterlands. The protagonist Ralph is the embodiment of naive--a young Southern hunk who comes out to Hollywood to become a star despite having no life experience and a thick Southern accent. Ralph's innocence and naivety are sometimes grating but by the end he finally wises up though his predictament is bleak.
Once I finished "I Should Have" I read Jake Halpern's 20007 non fiction book Fame Junkies. The book is divided into 3 sections. The second part and the least interesting, is focussed on personal assistants of the stars and various others who feed off the world of celebrity. The third part focuses on fans--those of the casual US/People/OK readership and the fanatics who latch their identities to a particular performer. In Fame Junkies, Halpern profiles a die hard Rod Stewart fan who has a room set aside as a Rod shrine, travels all over the world to see Stewart in concert and is a prime force in getting Stewart a star on the walk of fame. Her husband admits that if he hadn't force himself to become a Stewart fan, their marriage would have dissolved long ago. The chapter on the Rod fan made me realize (again) that for some people, star worhip is a religion and if anyone makes fun of this worship, you'll be courting the same sort of rage that devout Muslims express when a Danish paper publishes cartoons of the Prophet.
However the first part of Fame Junkies held the most resonance for me, given what I just read in the McCoy novel. Halpern examines the world of talent conventions/cattle calls where parents pay lots of money for their children to perform for agents. Sadly, very few of the kids are tapped for a follow up appointment, yet many of the kids and their families believe that stardom is just around the corner. Many of them, just like the characters in I Should Have Stayed Home, get their ideas of how the star system works from media, in the case of The Fame Junkies, shows like ET and Access Hollywood. It's all rather sad and pathetic.
I guess if I land a permanent job with the Guild and end up fielding phone calls, I should keep the lessons and portraits of the McCoy and Halpern books in mind as I'm going to be dealing with them.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Got that one wrong!
Well so much for my skills as a So You Think You Can Dance prognosticator!
Susie and Marquis got the boot. I can understand Susie receiving the axe. She didn't seem to fit in on a show where ballroom, hip hop and contemporary predominate. She had also lost her fire in the past week.
Marquise was robbed, at least on the basis of his solo. His solo tonight suggested a combination of last year's final 2 men, Neil and Danny. He's not as talented as they are, but Marquis gave the best solo tonight. However, he was weak on partnering, though his match up with the older and more jaded looking Susie was a horrible mismatch. Perhaps he might have fared better with one of the more wholesome looking gilrs?
UM sent me an email. The decision makers are all on vacation until June 30. They'll decide then. Yay, passive procrastination, my favorite!
I'm reading 'I Should Have Stayed Home" a bleak 1938 novella by Horace McCoy. It's the story of a young man lured to Hollywood for a screentest. He bombs and is blown off by the studio official who lured him away from his Georgia hometown. Now the young man works as an extra and sleeps on the couch in an apartment just off Vine belonging to a shady young girl who's an extra by day, and I suspect, a hooker by night. Like McCoy's masterpiece, They Shoot Horses, Don't They, this is a very bleak slice of LA Noir.
Susie and Marquis got the boot. I can understand Susie receiving the axe. She didn't seem to fit in on a show where ballroom, hip hop and contemporary predominate. She had also lost her fire in the past week.
Marquise was robbed, at least on the basis of his solo. His solo tonight suggested a combination of last year's final 2 men, Neil and Danny. He's not as talented as they are, but Marquis gave the best solo tonight. However, he was weak on partnering, though his match up with the older and more jaded looking Susie was a horrible mismatch. Perhaps he might have fared better with one of the more wholesome looking gilrs?
UM sent me an email. The decision makers are all on vacation until June 30. They'll decide then. Yay, passive procrastination, my favorite!
I'm reading 'I Should Have Stayed Home" a bleak 1938 novella by Horace McCoy. It's the story of a young man lured to Hollywood for a screentest. He bombs and is blown off by the studio official who lured him away from his Georgia hometown. Now the young man works as an extra and sleeps on the couch in an apartment just off Vine belonging to a shady young girl who's an extra by day, and I suspect, a hooker by night. Like McCoy's masterpiece, They Shoot Horses, Don't They, this is a very bleak slice of LA Noir.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Long day and I'm tired
Got up an hour early to prepare for my webcam interview with Univ. of Michigan. Though there were a few sound glitches, we pulled it off, though it only lasted a half hour. I think I did alright, but ...... I don't know. I'm really ambivalent about it all. I hope they offer the position to someone else so I don't have to make a decisio, but I think fate is telling me that's it's my turn to man it up and I'll be the one who's going to have to make a choice. To be continued.
This week's So You Think You Can Dance was better than last week. I'm starting to get more familiar with the couples. My favorites are Chelsey and Mark. Especially Mark--he has a very unique presence to him, very artsy which I like. Also, I really enjoy when Mia Michaels is a judge. She's crazy and pretentious and bitchy and out there, but so passionate and not afraid to be her unvarnished self. And she was dead on correct when she told Carrington to not smile throughout an entire number. A lot of people have problems with people who are not always smiling. Back in my bar days, I've had more than one occasion in which I was standing around either bored or lost in thought and some stranger comes up to me and orders me to smile. I believe in genuine smiling, mindless smiling is a turnoff and something I will not indulge. My, aren't I on my highhorse tonight.
Back to SYTYCD: the most likely to be booted tomorrow--Jessica and Marquis.
This week's So You Think You Can Dance was better than last week. I'm starting to get more familiar with the couples. My favorites are Chelsey and Mark. Especially Mark--he has a very unique presence to him, very artsy which I like. Also, I really enjoy when Mia Michaels is a judge. She's crazy and pretentious and bitchy and out there, but so passionate and not afraid to be her unvarnished self. And she was dead on correct when she told Carrington to not smile throughout an entire number. A lot of people have problems with people who are not always smiling. Back in my bar days, I've had more than one occasion in which I was standing around either bored or lost in thought and some stranger comes up to me and orders me to smile. I believe in genuine smiling, mindless smiling is a turnoff and something I will not indulge. My, aren't I on my highhorse tonight.
Back to SYTYCD: the most likely to be booted tomorrow--Jessica and Marquis.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Late Chet My Funny Valentine
Here's a youtube of Chet Baker performing My Funny Valentine live in Tokyo not too long before his fatal fall from a window in Amsterdam. Not sure how long this clip will be up at Youtube, so enjoy it while you can.
Observations on a couple of LA people I see
I've now lived in LA for a little over 5 months now. Given that I live, work and shop in the same area, certain passersby have become common sightings as I go about my daily routines:
1. Insipid Children's Musician: Every day I take lunch at Hancock Park/La Brea Tar Pits. Most days there are school groups visiting the Tar Pits and Page Natural History/Pre History Museum. Every day without fail there's an older man armed with a banjo or an acoustic guitar plucking away at his instrument singing saggy whimsical children's songs that easily get on my nerves. Mostly the children ignore him, though there are occasions in which the teachers/chaperones force the children to sit before the musician and listen to his music. Fortunately, I'm armed with my ipod and can shut out his music. But the times I've heard him bring back memories of this horrible ad I used to hear on the Classical Music station in San Francisco. This musician was hawking tapes of children's music in which each tape would be personalized for each child whose parent buys a tape. To the accompaniement of an acoustic guitar and a cheap casio keyboard, the man would whine "A is for Apple, B is for Brittany (that's you, heh, heh, heh)". All I can imagine was that there was a child molestor lurking on the airwaves. The man in the park has the same vocal style. Fortunately (I think) this vocal approach to performing children's song is hardly unique so I don't think it's the same guy.
Chet Baker: Over the past couple of months I've observed an older man, very lean, with a head of thinning blonde hair and a highly wrinkled yet high and finely chiseled cheekboned face walking on Wilshire between Dunsmuir and Hauser. He generally wears a pair of pressed blue jeans and either a white or black turtleneck accessorized with a matching belt. On saturday, he was on my downtown 20 Wilshire Bus ride. The man seems ill or strung out or on methadone. Perhaps I make that observation because he so eerily resembles Chet Baker in the last years of his life and Chet was certainly strung out or getting my on methadone during attempts at sobriety. I love Chet Baker's music, but what a harrowing life he led. I think the man on the street has a similar life story. His face certainly tells a sad story.
A little good news--my co worker informed me that if the guild brings me on permanently I would be relocated to another desk so I can sit next to the woman who trains Membership Assistants. The desk is at the other end of the office!
1. Insipid Children's Musician: Every day I take lunch at Hancock Park/La Brea Tar Pits. Most days there are school groups visiting the Tar Pits and Page Natural History/Pre History Museum. Every day without fail there's an older man armed with a banjo or an acoustic guitar plucking away at his instrument singing saggy whimsical children's songs that easily get on my nerves. Mostly the children ignore him, though there are occasions in which the teachers/chaperones force the children to sit before the musician and listen to his music. Fortunately, I'm armed with my ipod and can shut out his music. But the times I've heard him bring back memories of this horrible ad I used to hear on the Classical Music station in San Francisco. This musician was hawking tapes of children's music in which each tape would be personalized for each child whose parent buys a tape. To the accompaniement of an acoustic guitar and a cheap casio keyboard, the man would whine "A is for Apple, B is for Brittany (that's you, heh, heh, heh)". All I can imagine was that there was a child molestor lurking on the airwaves. The man in the park has the same vocal style. Fortunately (I think) this vocal approach to performing children's song is hardly unique so I don't think it's the same guy.
Chet Baker: Over the past couple of months I've observed an older man, very lean, with a head of thinning blonde hair and a highly wrinkled yet high and finely chiseled cheekboned face walking on Wilshire between Dunsmuir and Hauser. He generally wears a pair of pressed blue jeans and either a white or black turtleneck accessorized with a matching belt. On saturday, he was on my downtown 20 Wilshire Bus ride. The man seems ill or strung out or on methadone. Perhaps I make that observation because he so eerily resembles Chet Baker in the last years of his life and Chet was certainly strung out or getting my on methadone during attempts at sobriety. I love Chet Baker's music, but what a harrowing life he led. I think the man on the street has a similar life story. His face certainly tells a sad story.
A little good news--my co worker informed me that if the guild brings me on permanently I would be relocated to another desk so I can sit next to the woman who trains Membership Assistants. The desk is at the other end of the office!
Saturday, June 14, 2008
A couple of quick notes
Aieee! University of Michigan emailed me. They still want to interview me for that job. I guess I should do it.
I was told by the Guild I'm good there until the end of the month. I let them I would be interested in staying there permanently if the woman I'm filling in for decides not to come back.
I reset the comments settings here so that anyone can comment.
I was told by the Guild I'm good there until the end of the month. I let them I would be interested in staying there permanently if the woman I'm filling in for decides not to come back.
I reset the comments settings here so that anyone can comment.
15 new downloads
Here's a novel concept for a blog post--my most recent downloads from itunes. It's been a while given my current economic situation, but since I'm allowed to play my ipod while at work, I need a few new tunes so this morning I bought a $15 itunes card and downloaded away. I'm sure there's a site out there where one can enter their most recent downloads and receive some sort of personality analysis. I'm not sure if I would want to enter my list below (complete with youtube links):
1 "Magic" Robin Thicke
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-P1--dJylI
2. "Fade Into You" Mazzy Star--link below is a fan video fusing the song with great footage of Fred Astaire and Rita Hayworth dancing--one of the best youtube vids ever.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7kKVBZUVWxQ
3. "Digital" Joy Division
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=btzIdZpln6k
4. "Theme to A Walk on the Wild Side" Elmer Bernstein
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHLgUyE9pfI
5. "Ally, Walk with Me" The Raveonettes
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-3fmjjk4aA
6. "How Many Words-DJ Dan remix" Blake Lewis
Can't find a fan video on you tube, but here's another remix of the song by Dave Aude:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21OceDzsEgI
7. "Bad Sun--Moon Version" The Bravery
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hz4pmZoJaIk
8. "The Ocean--Moon Version" The Bravery
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5SzVRN6c4SQ
9. "This Boy's in Love" The Presets
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NlDZumpQY_4
10. "Clocks" Coldplay
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9j_RZDqYc4
11. "Viva La Vida" Coldplay
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-S-Q00kGic
12. "More than the Stars" Natalie Cole
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SywrURdHKJU
13. "Everlasting" Natalie Cole
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4celOxKCeQ
14. "Love Overboard" Gladys Knight and the Pips
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XPlsdPqBLT8&feature=related
15. "The World I Know" Collective Soul
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUSiZt4S5dw
1 "Magic" Robin Thicke
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-P1--dJylI
2. "Fade Into You" Mazzy Star--link below is a fan video fusing the song with great footage of Fred Astaire and Rita Hayworth dancing--one of the best youtube vids ever.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7kKVBZUVWxQ
3. "Digital" Joy Division
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=btzIdZpln6k
4. "Theme to A Walk on the Wild Side" Elmer Bernstein
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHLgUyE9pfI
5. "Ally, Walk with Me" The Raveonettes
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-3fmjjk4aA
6. "How Many Words-DJ Dan remix" Blake Lewis
Can't find a fan video on you tube, but here's another remix of the song by Dave Aude:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21OceDzsEgI
7. "Bad Sun--Moon Version" The Bravery
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hz4pmZoJaIk
8. "The Ocean--Moon Version" The Bravery
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5SzVRN6c4SQ
9. "This Boy's in Love" The Presets
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NlDZumpQY_4
10. "Clocks" Coldplay
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9j_RZDqYc4
11. "Viva La Vida" Coldplay
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-S-Q00kGic
12. "More than the Stars" Natalie Cole
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SywrURdHKJU
13. "Everlasting" Natalie Cole
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4celOxKCeQ
14. "Love Overboard" Gladys Knight and the Pips
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XPlsdPqBLT8&feature=related
15. "The World I Know" Collective Soul
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUSiZt4S5dw
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Won't be going back to Michigan anytime soon!
Well a week has passed since I told University of Michigan I would be interested in a second interview. I haven't heard back from them so I can only conclude they offered the position to someone else.
Thank God!
I really didn't want to move back there. If I had, I would have felt that the past 13 years would have been for naught. I left Michigan for a reason. I no longer belonged there and my visits in the intervening years served as reinforecement. I would have ended up feeling very lost and isolated if I had gone back. Not that I didn't have such feelings after UCLA cut me loose, but in the past two months I've begun to feel as if I'm setting some roots here. They're very shallow at this point, but I'm starting to feel grounded here. I've managed to create a village type life style in the middle of Los Angeles. Oddly enough, I was speaking to Marilyn, the front desk person at the Job Source Center today and she was telling me about how she would like to retire to an oceanside village here in So Cal so she can experience the pleasures of small town life. It seems to me if one can live, work and shop all in the same walkable area, you have found a village type lifestyle, no matter how large the official population of your town.
Anyway, my current job hunt strategy is pretty simple right now--hold tight at the Guild and keep pestering the social services agency regarding the database admin position.
Thank God!
I really didn't want to move back there. If I had, I would have felt that the past 13 years would have been for naught. I left Michigan for a reason. I no longer belonged there and my visits in the intervening years served as reinforecement. I would have ended up feeling very lost and isolated if I had gone back. Not that I didn't have such feelings after UCLA cut me loose, but in the past two months I've begun to feel as if I'm setting some roots here. They're very shallow at this point, but I'm starting to feel grounded here. I've managed to create a village type life style in the middle of Los Angeles. Oddly enough, I was speaking to Marilyn, the front desk person at the Job Source Center today and she was telling me about how she would like to retire to an oceanside village here in So Cal so she can experience the pleasures of small town life. It seems to me if one can live, work and shop all in the same walkable area, you have found a village type lifestyle, no matter how large the official population of your town.
Anyway, my current job hunt strategy is pretty simple right now--hold tight at the Guild and keep pestering the social services agency regarding the database admin position.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Boundaries
My co worker behaved very well with me during the work day, but after work she walked with me out of the building and asked me why I wasn't into comic books and superheroes. I said they've never appealled to me. Suddenly she was cross examining me about why I'm so dismissive of comic books, fantasy and sci fi. She's concluded I'm very closed minded and not open to new experience. Given what I know of her background (she's lived with her family her entire life) I guess it takes one to know one. I finally shook her off without cussing her out (as she deserves) but the day is coming soon where I'm going to have to stop being polite and tell her to respect some boundaries.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
One strange bird
More about my co worker whom I discussed last week.
Well, she's not asking probing questions about my upbringing and her respect for my boundaries is better than it was two weeks ago. But she's still a very strange bird.
Yesterday afternoon I asked if she enjoyed her weekend. She mentioned she had bought some vintage toy cars of some make (not Matchbox). I didn't recognize the brand. She was shocked and asked if I ever played any normal games as a child. OK, maybe her boundaries are just as lousy as ever. I assured her I did, I just don't recall makes of toy cars that me and my friend Dickie used when we played "Crash Up City". I think I put her mind at ease and she went on to talk about how she likes to collect toys and mementos from her childhood as she takes comfort being surrounded by such objects. I asked if she shops ebay or goes to collector conventions. She said she would never do anything like that. She'll buy these old toys when she's out and about shopping in her community.
This morning when I came in I greeted her, as I do everyone, with a polite and friendly "good morning". She remarked that I'm always "chipper". I never heard that before. I was bemused. She thought I was hurt and insulted and apologized profusely. I told I wasn't insulted and she should stop beating herself up. She told me she must beat herself up because she shouldn't be going around hurting sensitive people like myself because I didn't come from a rough and tumble family like hers where people express their love for one another by razzing each other.
OK. I spent much of the rest of the days connected to my ipod as I can only take so much weirdness.
Good thing I did. Later in the afternoon I emerged from ipod land. My coworker asked me what time it was. I answered. She noticed I never wear a watch and wonder how I keep track of time. I told her that for years my co workers in New York wondered how I was able to get back from lunch within my allotted hour. I guess I have a gift to keep track of time without help. She said I possess a "rainman" skill and she's convinced everyone has a "rainman" skill and proceeded to discuss how she's able to put babies to sleep. A few minutes later she apologized for comparing me to rainman and said she didn't mean to hurt me. I told her no need to apologize for comparing me to a movie that won a Best Picture Oscar-- a winner is a winner. She looked at me incomprehensibly. Though she considers me emotionally fragile, I must intimidate her on some level. I hope that's true.
AT the end of the day, she had a public sitdown with her supervisor and complained how unhappy she is at the Guild. Her supervisor seemed exasperated to have to deal with this at the end of the day. Maybe she'll take the initiative and go find a job where she'll be happier because right now, despite her bravado, she seems miserable. It's never too late to overhaul your life if you can summon the will (or alternately, the tenacity if circumstances take charge of the life overhaul).
Well, she's not asking probing questions about my upbringing and her respect for my boundaries is better than it was two weeks ago. But she's still a very strange bird.
Yesterday afternoon I asked if she enjoyed her weekend. She mentioned she had bought some vintage toy cars of some make (not Matchbox). I didn't recognize the brand. She was shocked and asked if I ever played any normal games as a child. OK, maybe her boundaries are just as lousy as ever. I assured her I did, I just don't recall makes of toy cars that me and my friend Dickie used when we played "Crash Up City". I think I put her mind at ease and she went on to talk about how she likes to collect toys and mementos from her childhood as she takes comfort being surrounded by such objects. I asked if she shops ebay or goes to collector conventions. She said she would never do anything like that. She'll buy these old toys when she's out and about shopping in her community.
This morning when I came in I greeted her, as I do everyone, with a polite and friendly "good morning". She remarked that I'm always "chipper". I never heard that before. I was bemused. She thought I was hurt and insulted and apologized profusely. I told I wasn't insulted and she should stop beating herself up. She told me she must beat herself up because she shouldn't be going around hurting sensitive people like myself because I didn't come from a rough and tumble family like hers where people express their love for one another by razzing each other.
OK. I spent much of the rest of the days connected to my ipod as I can only take so much weirdness.
Good thing I did. Later in the afternoon I emerged from ipod land. My coworker asked me what time it was. I answered. She noticed I never wear a watch and wonder how I keep track of time. I told her that for years my co workers in New York wondered how I was able to get back from lunch within my allotted hour. I guess I have a gift to keep track of time without help. She said I possess a "rainman" skill and she's convinced everyone has a "rainman" skill and proceeded to discuss how she's able to put babies to sleep. A few minutes later she apologized for comparing me to rainman and said she didn't mean to hurt me. I told her no need to apologize for comparing me to a movie that won a Best Picture Oscar-- a winner is a winner. She looked at me incomprehensibly. Though she considers me emotionally fragile, I must intimidate her on some level. I hope that's true.
AT the end of the day, she had a public sitdown with her supervisor and complained how unhappy she is at the Guild. Her supervisor seemed exasperated to have to deal with this at the end of the day. Maybe she'll take the initiative and go find a job where she'll be happier because right now, despite her bravado, she seems miserable. It's never too late to overhaul your life if you can summon the will (or alternately, the tenacity if circumstances take charge of the life overhaul).
Monday, June 9, 2008
Cooling down
I noticed that in the past week with the end of the primary season and the withdrawal of Hillary Clinton that election coverage in the media has become a lot less intense. Thank God! I hope the next couple of months will be more low key and that coverage won't step up until the conventions at the end of the summer. The election season is way too long, and it's especially absurd in this era of modern communications and rapidly dwindling attention spans. It won't happen, but wouldn't it be great if in 2012 the primaries, conventions and general election be packed into a 4-6 month timespan? But it won't happen--too many people depend on a "permanent campaign" to make their fortune, or worse, to give their lives meaning and purpose. Those who fall into the latter category, are, to some extent, already existentially extinguished.
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Val Lewton
This weekend I was engrossed in the book Fearing the Dark, a biographical overview and critical analysis of the life and work of RKO B unit horror film producer/auteur Val Lewton. His most famous films include Cat People, I Walk with A Zombie and The Body Snatcher. His productions are renowned for its literate screenplays, tense fright scenes and reliance on suggesting horror rather than graphically depicting such scenes. His films had a strong influence on one of my favorite genres, Film Noir.
My favorite Lewton film would have to be The 7th Victim. Not so much for the plot, but for its ambience and characters. The film is set in Greenwich Village. Nearly every character is lost and lonely in an urban environment. The character who touches me most is the poet Jason Hoag, a man who managed to publish one volume of poetry. The volume failed and he's been floundering ever since, spending his days in a survival job and his evenings in an Italian restaurant entertaining the guests. The man is lonely. One of the most poignant scenes is when the heroine of the film, Mary, comes to his apartment. He is so glad to have her visit and is eager to share the view he has from his skyroof. I guess I really relate to Jason Hoag in many respects as I'm, truth be told, a failed writer, and live a pretty solitary existence. Nearly every character in 7th Victim lives a solitary life, except for the coven of Devil worshippers who make up the horror element of the film. 7th Victim is a bizarre, sad, depressing but enriching film and well worth viewing.
My favorite Lewton film would have to be The 7th Victim. Not so much for the plot, but for its ambience and characters. The film is set in Greenwich Village. Nearly every character is lost and lonely in an urban environment. The character who touches me most is the poet Jason Hoag, a man who managed to publish one volume of poetry. The volume failed and he's been floundering ever since, spending his days in a survival job and his evenings in an Italian restaurant entertaining the guests. The man is lonely. One of the most poignant scenes is when the heroine of the film, Mary, comes to his apartment. He is so glad to have her visit and is eager to share the view he has from his skyroof. I guess I really relate to Jason Hoag in many respects as I'm, truth be told, a failed writer, and live a pretty solitary existence. Nearly every character in 7th Victim lives a solitary life, except for the coven of Devil worshippers who make up the horror element of the film. 7th Victim is a bizarre, sad, depressing but enriching film and well worth viewing.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
So You think you can dance
Rather than write another post about temping, let's change gears. My summer reality show So You Think You Can Dance is back. The top 20 was announced. The guys don't seem as hot as the ones they found last year. Amongst the girls, I like the Texas hip hop dancer Comfort and I find the Miami latin dancer whose name I don't know to be a good candidate to get the first boot. I feel bad that the 18 year old who gave such a muscular audition didn't make it through as he was amazingly talented. Well it should be a fun summer of viewing. I got my show to watch!
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
To Burn or not to burn those bridges?
Good news, the woman who sits next to me behaved relatively normally today and respected my boundaries. Hopefully this is the end of the drama.
During my lunch hour I ran into two of my fellow temps from my residuals gig in April--Neisha and Shawnese. It was good to see them and catch up. Residuals did not bring back the suck whom I wrote about early last month, lol. Shawnese managed to throw a nice b-day party for her 6 year old and she's navigating all the red tape in order to get her job back at LAX. Neisha's pregnancy is coming along--her boy is due in September. She's still getting tired though. Hopefully she won't have to go to bed rest. Sadly, Neisha told me that Amy, whom she befriended during the first residuals gig, has left LA. Amy moved out to LA around the same time I did. She moved with a promise of a job, but it fell through due to her credit situation. Which is ridiculous given that the position she was taking had nothing to do with finance or handling funds. Amy's gig in residuals was her first steady stream of work since moving to LA. However, her dream was to establish herself as a photographer. But the finances were shaky and she had to leave LA and move back home. I really hope she gives LA (or NYC--her boyfriend's there) another shot once she gets her affairs stabilized.
Amy's story really resonated with me for the rest of the day. When I got home there was an email from the University of Michigan IRB. They want a second interview with me via webcam and they're going to contact my references. I replied with my consent. But after I hit send, I realized I don't want to move back to Michigan and I don't want to work for an IRB, ever again. Not really. Well, I must be practical. But I want to stay in LA. I don't want to be like Amy and have to go back where I came from. And unlike Amy, who's fresh out of college, I'm not a spring chicken. I'm not going to have many opportunities to make over my life. Before I left today, I got an email for an internal job opening. I'm going to inquire tomorrow what I as a temp need to do to get the interview. If I can secure an interesting position at the place with a decent livable wage and health insurance I can stay in LA and I kiss off the IRB world forever.
And how I would love to burn my bridges! Last night I sent an email to the Professor who maintains the Institutional Review Blog. I praised his latest post and briefly described my experiences in IRB world. He wrote back and invited me to write a "guest" blog. If I can get myself away from IRB, I'm going to do it. I feel like playing with matches--metaphorically speaking, of course.
During my lunch hour I ran into two of my fellow temps from my residuals gig in April--Neisha and Shawnese. It was good to see them and catch up. Residuals did not bring back the suck whom I wrote about early last month, lol. Shawnese managed to throw a nice b-day party for her 6 year old and she's navigating all the red tape in order to get her job back at LAX. Neisha's pregnancy is coming along--her boy is due in September. She's still getting tired though. Hopefully she won't have to go to bed rest. Sadly, Neisha told me that Amy, whom she befriended during the first residuals gig, has left LA. Amy moved out to LA around the same time I did. She moved with a promise of a job, but it fell through due to her credit situation. Which is ridiculous given that the position she was taking had nothing to do with finance or handling funds. Amy's gig in residuals was her first steady stream of work since moving to LA. However, her dream was to establish herself as a photographer. But the finances were shaky and she had to leave LA and move back home. I really hope she gives LA (or NYC--her boyfriend's there) another shot once she gets her affairs stabilized.
Amy's story really resonated with me for the rest of the day. When I got home there was an email from the University of Michigan IRB. They want a second interview with me via webcam and they're going to contact my references. I replied with my consent. But after I hit send, I realized I don't want to move back to Michigan and I don't want to work for an IRB, ever again. Not really. Well, I must be practical. But I want to stay in LA. I don't want to be like Amy and have to go back where I came from. And unlike Amy, who's fresh out of college, I'm not a spring chicken. I'm not going to have many opportunities to make over my life. Before I left today, I got an email for an internal job opening. I'm going to inquire tomorrow what I as a temp need to do to get the interview. If I can secure an interesting position at the place with a decent livable wage and health insurance I can stay in LA and I kiss off the IRB world forever.
And how I would love to burn my bridges! Last night I sent an email to the Professor who maintains the Institutional Review Blog. I praised his latest post and briefly described my experiences in IRB world. He wrote back and invited me to write a "guest" blog. If I can get myself away from IRB, I'm going to do it. I feel like playing with matches--metaphorically speaking, of course.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Bits and Pieces
Tonight I was supposed to see NY singer/songwriter Chris Ayer at this lounge near where I live. However, he cancelled as he's had health problems the past few weeks.
UCLA has a couple of job openings at their IRB, including Administrator for the "South" IRB. The woman who had been in charge of the South IRB has moved over to one of the medical IRBs. Though I found her far more intelligent and action oriented than the "North" IRB administrator, she was also more emotionally volatile. Three weeks before I was fired, I was on the receiving end of a hissy fit from her because I had the noive to ask her where the tape recorder was. It was one of those moments during my time there when I should have walked out and quit on the spot. I wonder how she's going to handle the pressure of being the lead administrator for a committtee that primarily reviews cancer studies? Also, I'll be very curious if they promote the South coordinator to the administrator position. The coordinator was the person in that office who had become so mentally warped from the office's emphasis on policy and procedures that she was rendered unable to answer simple yes/no questions with a simple yes/no answer. Well given that the North administrator (whose domain includes protocols submitted by the History department) didn't know that Vietnam reunited following the defeat of the US backed South regime, I venture to say that the South Coordinator has a good shot of being promoted, lol.
More weirdness from my co worker who sits next to me. Again she pretty much ignored me, though she made a couple of caustic comments. Then at the end of the day, she waited for me outside the building to tell me she isn't talking to me because she wants me to have good days at work and not be afriad of her. Really, can't she just act like everyone else in the office and either ignore me or engage in small talk or work related talk? Too much drama going on here. Oh, and a sad little tidbit about her: Yesterday, an aspiring new member called to get a quote for joining. The aspirant lives in Oakland. My co worker had to ask where Oakland was in order to determine if the aspirant fell under the jurisdiction of the Hollywood branch. Oakland is hardly podunk. Alas, the guy across from my co worker didn't know either so I had to tell her Oakland is a city directly across the bay from San Francisco and therefore the person should pay the SF branch rate. How could someone live in California all their life (well over 50 years) and never hear of Oakland? I get the sense that I'm to get a permanent position at this place, I might be better suited for another office within the organization.
UCLA has a couple of job openings at their IRB, including Administrator for the "South" IRB. The woman who had been in charge of the South IRB has moved over to one of the medical IRBs. Though I found her far more intelligent and action oriented than the "North" IRB administrator, she was also more emotionally volatile. Three weeks before I was fired, I was on the receiving end of a hissy fit from her because I had the noive to ask her where the tape recorder was. It was one of those moments during my time there when I should have walked out and quit on the spot. I wonder how she's going to handle the pressure of being the lead administrator for a committtee that primarily reviews cancer studies? Also, I'll be very curious if they promote the South coordinator to the administrator position. The coordinator was the person in that office who had become so mentally warped from the office's emphasis on policy and procedures that she was rendered unable to answer simple yes/no questions with a simple yes/no answer. Well given that the North administrator (whose domain includes protocols submitted by the History department) didn't know that Vietnam reunited following the defeat of the US backed South regime, I venture to say that the South Coordinator has a good shot of being promoted, lol.
More weirdness from my co worker who sits next to me. Again she pretty much ignored me, though she made a couple of caustic comments. Then at the end of the day, she waited for me outside the building to tell me she isn't talking to me because she wants me to have good days at work and not be afriad of her. Really, can't she just act like everyone else in the office and either ignore me or engage in small talk or work related talk? Too much drama going on here. Oh, and a sad little tidbit about her: Yesterday, an aspiring new member called to get a quote for joining. The aspirant lives in Oakland. My co worker had to ask where Oakland was in order to determine if the aspirant fell under the jurisdiction of the Hollywood branch. Oakland is hardly podunk. Alas, the guy across from my co worker didn't know either so I had to tell her Oakland is a city directly across the bay from San Francisco and therefore the person should pay the SF branch rate. How could someone live in California all their life (well over 50 years) and never hear of Oakland? I get the sense that I'm to get a permanent position at this place, I might be better suited for another office within the organization.
Monday, June 2, 2008
Shipping Guy Love
Last year on American Idol, I was a HUGE Blake Lewis fan. I searched the net for anything Blake related. Which is admittely immature and ridiculous and rather crazy.
Well I discovered a little subculture in my search for all things Blake. There's an internet subculture primarily composed of straight women who like to pair up male celebrities in sexually charged romantic pairings. These fans, called "shippers" write porn, fiction and poetry. In addition, they like to phony up pictures to make it look like the men were caught cuddling or kissing or they like to make youtubes with footage capturing a look, a glance, a moment of body contact. I find it fascinating that there are women out there who would get off on things like that.
Of course my favorite shipping is Cake, the pairing of Blake Lewis and Chris Richardson. Not only did they look great together, but it was obvious to all they were quite besotted with each other, even though I doubt anything happened between them, but their mutual affection was so obvious for one another.
Here's another interesting pairing--The Killers' Brandon Flowers and Dave Kuenig. Their shippers like to call their little on stage interactions "boy love". Enjoy the video:
Well I discovered a little subculture in my search for all things Blake. There's an internet subculture primarily composed of straight women who like to pair up male celebrities in sexually charged romantic pairings. These fans, called "shippers" write porn, fiction and poetry. In addition, they like to phony up pictures to make it look like the men were caught cuddling or kissing or they like to make youtubes with footage capturing a look, a glance, a moment of body contact. I find it fascinating that there are women out there who would get off on things like that.
Of course my favorite shipping is Cake, the pairing of Blake Lewis and Chris Richardson. Not only did they look great together, but it was obvious to all they were quite besotted with each other, even though I doubt anything happened between them, but their mutual affection was so obvious for one another.
Here's another interesting pairing--The Killers' Brandon Flowers and Dave Kuenig. Their shippers like to call their little on stage interactions "boy love". Enjoy the video:
My Co worker
In my last post I made mention of a co worker of mine who's taken a rather strong interest in me, given that I'm just a temp. She's been working at the organization for several years now. Prior to that she worked 20 years for a customer service phone call in center. She's live her entire life in LA and has only left LA to visit family in Northern California and El Paso. She's single, but lives with a sibling and her family. She admits that she rarely goes out nor does she go to movies or watch TV. She spends her spare time doing family activities, playing computer games, reading and streaming video on the web.
She's over 50 years old.
Yet she's a very warm and friendly person. She's excellent on the phone dealing with potential new members. But her world is rather limited. She finds me rather astounding, given that I've moved several times in my life, often for no other reason than the sake of accumulating some life experience. I do not come from a close, tight knit family. I'm not a physically expressive individual and I can be quite cold and intellectual in my speech, especially among those I just barely met. In other words, I have boundaries. It takes time for me to let people get close to me. She finds this sad, and perhaps she has just cause. Last week she pumped me for a lot of info about my family, how I was raised, what we did, how we treated each other, how we expressed affection for each other. Given that I'm doing very routine and repetitive clerical work, such conversation was stimulating and afforded me the opportunity to reflect on my upbringing, which I haven't done in some time. Yet I also feel her questions reveal more about her than any of my answers revealed about me. There were times where I felt she crossed the line as she would get to teasing. I'm not above self mockery, but at a certain point, we're in an office situation and she needs to back off. What I resented at times last week was that it seemed she was hoping to mold me into something that she could understand and fit into her world. If I learned anything in my life it's to learn to take people for what they are and respond to them accordingly rather than be utterly baffled. We all come from a wide variety of backgrounds that help shape us. I think given (based on what she has told me) her restricted life experiences, she seems prone to view the way she and her family relate to each other to be the appropriate template for all families to emulate. Given how innately intelligent she is, it's a shame she was never adventurous enough to get out of LA and away from her family for a few years and try living life in which she would have to build her own support base from scratch. Perhaps she might have a different take on someone like me.
Fortunately today at work she kept herself busy and did not bother to chit chat with me or anyone else. I wonder if it was because the workload was heavy, or if she was instructed at last friday's staff meeting to lay off me? I guess I'll find out as the week progresses.
She's over 50 years old.
Yet she's a very warm and friendly person. She's excellent on the phone dealing with potential new members. But her world is rather limited. She finds me rather astounding, given that I've moved several times in my life, often for no other reason than the sake of accumulating some life experience. I do not come from a close, tight knit family. I'm not a physically expressive individual and I can be quite cold and intellectual in my speech, especially among those I just barely met. In other words, I have boundaries. It takes time for me to let people get close to me. She finds this sad, and perhaps she has just cause. Last week she pumped me for a lot of info about my family, how I was raised, what we did, how we treated each other, how we expressed affection for each other. Given that I'm doing very routine and repetitive clerical work, such conversation was stimulating and afforded me the opportunity to reflect on my upbringing, which I haven't done in some time. Yet I also feel her questions reveal more about her than any of my answers revealed about me. There were times where I felt she crossed the line as she would get to teasing. I'm not above self mockery, but at a certain point, we're in an office situation and she needs to back off. What I resented at times last week was that it seemed she was hoping to mold me into something that she could understand and fit into her world. If I learned anything in my life it's to learn to take people for what they are and respond to them accordingly rather than be utterly baffled. We all come from a wide variety of backgrounds that help shape us. I think given (based on what she has told me) her restricted life experiences, she seems prone to view the way she and her family relate to each other to be the appropriate template for all families to emulate. Given how innately intelligent she is, it's a shame she was never adventurous enough to get out of LA and away from her family for a few years and try living life in which she would have to build her own support base from scratch. Perhaps she might have a different take on someone like me.
Fortunately today at work she kept herself busy and did not bother to chit chat with me or anyone else. I wonder if it was because the workload was heavy, or if she was instructed at last friday's staff meeting to lay off me? I guess I'll find out as the week progresses.
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