Long time, no post

Last time I posted I was living in Los Angeles working for Screen Actors Guild and putting up with an insane woman who worked next with me.

Flashforward 4 and one half months--I'm back in New York City, making a decent income and most emphatically out of touch with that insane woman.

So I've re-titled my blog and I'm going to attempt to post on a regular basis.

I've yet to read the posts I've put up while this was csquaredinla, but I suspect I'll cringe on how boring most of the posts about work and job hunting and dealing with temp agencies must be.

I'm going to make this blog an outlet for me to opine on film, music, books and pop culture. I think enough about work while I'm at work. So all I'll say is that workwise, I'm back in the IRB world. It's the one field that pays me a decent wage. I would like to return to the world of entertainment unions, but that's going to be a while. I've had enough change this past year.

Also, I'm not thrilled to be back in New York City. I can certainly get around this city and function well. But I'm bored with NYC. I liked LA and I like the southwest in general, especially Northern New Mexico and Northern Arizona. And I'm anxious to see Vegas and its surrounding dessert. I hope to leave NYC two-three years from now, but when I leave, unlike last time, I want to leave for the right reasons, not because I'm escaping a mentally unstable Assistant Dean for "Research Integrity".

And as I complete this post, the perfect song is playing--Boulevard of Broken Dreams, by Green Day. When is that band going to come out with a new project? It's been too long.

Pushing buttons

This afternoon my co worker MA, who's getting over a bad cold, had a sneezing and coughing fit. She apologized after it was over and she got to talking that at least she's able to blow her own nose and get un-stuffed on her own. She then told me about her little niece who as an infant was terribly stuffed up and could barely breathe. The baby was unable to blow her nose so MA's sister, the niece's mother, handed MA the baby and this device to stick down the baby's nostrils to drain her. The niece screamed and cried, but the device worked.

MA was obviously traumatized by this as she went on about having to hold this precious baby and having to hurt her. I observe that may be the case, but if the baby was unable to breathe than certainly the benefit outweighed the momentary pain the device caused. MA remarked that's the kind of remark she would expect from me.

I then remembered my pet dachsund Max I had as a child and teenager. When Max got older, he would often sneeze and snot would be dripping from his nose. A couple of times my mother and I would put a kleenex to his nose and urge him to blow. We knew he wouldn't but one never knows with dogs. I considered telling MA this story to lighten the mood, but then I though it would offend her, but then I thought, oh why not. So I said, "your story reminds me of what happened to my pet dachsund".

Sure enough she got all huffy and offended and said there is no comparison between a precious little baby, a little human, her niece and my pet dachsund. She went on in this vein for several minutes while I nodded my head and thinking to myself, "I just learned how to push your buttons!". Finally I admitted she was right and returned to my work. A few minutes later she comes to my cubicle to tell me once again how traumatizing this incident with the nasal device was. I asked her how long ago did this event occur.

Over 20 years ago. She went on to say this was her favorite niece and she has always been like a daughter to her. MA said she was bringing this up because it's not correct to talk light about such matters or to offer to tell a story in order to lighten the mood. This is serious business and feelings must be respected.

Aye--beware of closeted lesbians who were never able to bear their own children and are unable to move beyond emotionally traumatic moments. MA obviously lives vicariously through her siblings' offspring. While I give her credit for not mating with a man and having a child of her own, she could have found other ways to raise her own child. I've certainly known enough parents who after time passes are able to find some humor in either the event itself (that is, when the child survives) or in a related story (again, when the child survives). My parents and sister love to tell the story of how as a dumb 3 year old I jumped into the deep end of a Holiday Inn swimming pool and almost drowned if someone hadn't jumped in to rescue stupid me who didn't know hot to swim. God knows my family has its individual drawbacks, but I venture to say they're like most people and are able to emotionally evolve from the circumstances of a non fatal serious incident involving a small child.

So You Think You Can Dance July 30

Good show tonight. So glad boring Will is gone. I hope Twitch gets the
ditch tomorrow night. Chelsie outdanced him on that mambo, Twitch can
only do hip hop, otherwise the choreographers have to dumb down their
routines.

Mark and Courtney's French Burlesques Jazz was the best of the night.
Mark is so hot wearing guyliner and those moves he made! He's got a
Johnny Depp of Dance quality to him.

Great to see Joshua and Katee back together. I enjoyed both their
dances.

Paula Abdul was in the audience tonight. She must have shared some of
her punch pre show with Mary Murphy as Mary was getting weepy after
every dance.

I don't which two girls make the final 4 as all 3 are impresssive.
Just so long as Joshua and Mark get more votes than Twitch. And I did my part by voting for Mark 20 times tonight. First time this season I've voted.

Earthquake

Today we had an earthquake in LA. Registered about 5.4 on the Richter scale. I've been through a few other quakes--one in the early 80's in Kalamazoo Michigan. Yes, Michigan. There was a huge tremor down in Illinois and it was felt up in Kalamazoo. I remember being out in my driveway shooting baskets one overcast afternoon when all of sudden it got quiet and I felt a bit of rumble beneath me. It was strange. Later I heard on the news that we indeed had experienced a "quake".

IN San Francisco I experienced a couple of quakes. Once while I was at work at this stupid public policy institute, the other one evening at home. I remember the girl in the apartment below me started screaming when the ground started to shake. At first I thought she was having an orgasm of some sort as she and her boyfriend were rather loud in their sex, but no, it was the quake that was rocking her, not her man.

Today's quake felt like a rickety old carnival ride one might find at Coney Island (tells you where I feel my home really is). Afterwards, several people in the office turned on the radios. Got the basic info, then the station went into overkill trying to cover this "disaster". Fortunately no one died and there was no severe damage, but the stations are geared up for this sort of coverage, though after about 15 minutes the low level sustained hysteria that local news likes to assume whenever weird weather or ghastly geology occurs began to get on my nerves.

Broken computer

Two weeks ago my computer got hit with a nasty virus. I managed to have it remotely removed by the manufacturer. 4 days later I got the same virus and this time the remote repair didn't take hold. So last saturday I took my PC to my nearby Staples to get it fixed. I got the PC back yesterday. It's fixed, sort of. But there are some quirks that I'm dealing with which may explode on me. We'll see what happens.

First Day

Today was my "first day" at the Guild. Not too much different than it's been. Except my teammates threw a little welcome party for me, complete with cake, flowers and a card. It was very nice of them. In addition, during my break, I ran into someone from residuals who gave me a big hug when I told her I was now permanent. Such a contrast to UCLA, in which I was greeted with glares, frowns and looks of suspicion, put into a windowless office (as my promised cubicle hadn't been built), and ordered to read several large policy manuals. Later in the day, I got an email from my boss with a 4 page word attachment describing the office dress and grooming codes. Sweet. I prefer the Guild, even if I'm making less than half what UCLA was paying me.

Another good thing about my office at the Guild--the wall in my area is adorned with portraits of Natalie Wood/Steve McQueen in Love with a Proper Stranger; Gregory Peck in Duel in the Sun and Monty and Liz in A Place in the Sun. Classic movie star eye candy certainly works for me.

Also, my annoying colleague MA is out for the entire week!

She's Lost Control

Ok, I'm in a full scale Joy Division wallow right now. This weekend I purchased the DVDs for Control and a documentary on the band. I watched the documentary last night. Mesmerizing. On my docket of books to read: Piece by Piece: Writing about Joy Division. I'll probably get their two albums at some point this summer, when finances allow. I'll write more about them at some point as I want to digest and analyze. But here's a video of their 1979 performance of She's Lost Control on Granada Television. Lead singer Ian Curtis has such an charismatic, eerrie presence.

Peace and quiet

For the first time since I started at the Guild, my obnoxious co worker MA wasn't there. What a difference. I could relax. Though most everyone in the office seems to like her, I think she's a black hole of negativity and stupidity. Friday she asked me how "Tear-rin" was spelled. I had never heard of such a word and asked her to repeat it to me twice. She was appalled that I had never heard of "Tear-rin"--she told it's the capital of Iran. I informed her of the correct pronunciation and spelling. She was embarrassed that she had mispronounced the word and she became passive aggressive and demanded to know where I might have heard such a pronunciation. I replied "NPR".

Blank look.

I hope she's out for a couple more days.

Tomorrow is my official first day at the Guild. I'm permanently employeed again.

I got hired

The Guild offered me the position today. I accepted. Monday will be my last day temping as I will be signing my hiring papers. Tuesday I'm come on to the Guild as an official employee. It's going to be difficult to make ends meet and save a few dollars to boot for a while, but I'll figure it out. I survived being fired just fine, so I can pull this off as well. And people throughout history have gone through far, far, far worst things than what I've experienced the past year so I should stop whining and buckle down.

I'm rewarding myself this weekend. I bought Control and a documentary on Joy Division. Tomorrow off to Skylight Books to get a book on Joy Division. And finally I'm going to buy a fedora. That's what I promised msyelf if I got the job from the Guild. Once I complete my little shopping spree, back to austerity. Good thing I have a high tolerance for Tina Burritos, lol.

Bad case of Homesickness this morning

I woke up around 5AM this morning and couldn't really get back to sleep. I was feeling quite homesick for NYC and I was wondering what the hell am I doing in LA? Obviously a reaction to my talk with Guild HR about the job I'm applying for. In addition I had a nice little chat with a New Yorker in my office about Penn Station and Grand Central Station.

After I got up to make my breakfast, I checked my email. My former boss in NYC emailed me to inform me that the head of the HSS IRB had contacted her about me. Earlier this week I had applied for an IRB job at HSS. My boss told me that I could easily walk into the position. I felt elated and in my reply I thanked her profusely. I then went on to inform my two other references in NYC that I had applied for the job at HSS. I think I needed to feel wanted and my boss' email fulfilled that need. I was a bit cranky and out of sorts my first hour at the office as I compared what would likely be a decently compensated position in NYC to what i would be doing at the Guild. Fortunately I got out of my funk by heading upstairs to take my very unchallenging tests. I did well. Now they have to contact my references. I'm feeling better about the Guild position and what I'll need to do to survive the next 6 months if I'm offered the position. But I'm still feeling quite ambivalent about my future here in LA. Perhaps if I can just get settled and make a few more friends or have some more outlets besides office, apartment and internet, I won't long so much for NYC. Anyway, if I get the Guild offer, I'll accept and carry on, but with an eye out for something better that may come up in New York.

Comfort and Thayne got the boot on So You Think You Can Dance. Big shock! I so hope judges pet Will gets the axe next week.

So You Think You Can Dance Top 12

Rankings: 1. Mark/Chelsie 2. Gev/Courtney 3. Joshua/Katee 4. Will/Jessica 5 (tie) Thayne/Comfort and Twitchington

Thayne looked hot tonight I thought, but he's toast, though I think Twitch deserves to got, but he's been pimped and probably won't make bottom 3.

Time for Comfort to go, but if Jessica ends up bottom 3, Comfort may last another week.

I really hope Will gets the boot next week. He's talented, but the judges have given him a free pass all season, it would serve them right to see Will get axed once all power switches to the voters.

Mary was great tonight--kept the volume under control for the most part and had some great comments. I like Mia Michaels, though she can be obnoxious. I wish Nigel would step down and Dan could take his place as a permanent judge.

Great to see Pasha tonight. I hope he gets to do another number this season. Rather see him than Benji.

Who'd thought that Tyce would create two of the best numbers tonight?

Going home? Easy, Thayne and Comfort.

Second thoughts and mixed emotions

Today I submitted my application for the entry level position at the Guild. The HR person gave me a brief overview of the position. It served as a reality check. I already knew that the pay was low and that benefits would not kick in immediately, but I learned that I would have to join an office workers Union and have dues remove each month as well as pay an initiation fee. And I was informed of what my yearly income would be starting out. It's lower than what I made my first year in New York.

Well, I did say I was willing to start all over again. So time to weigh the pros and cons:

Pros:

-I would be starting a job and hopefully a new career in a field I've always wanted to be in.

-AFter 6 months I can apply for internal positions, both in LA and NYC. The Guild prefers to promote from within. And the Guild has departments that especially interest me such as Awards, Research and Film Society.

-My commute will be a 15 minute walk to work.

Cons:

-The pay and union dues

-A number of the people who work there are, quite frankly, dead enders. They're there until retirment. I fear it could happen to me and I won't get out of that particular department--don't know if there's a prejudice against this department. On the other hand, I've heard of people who have left there and moved on to better positions within the Guild. So I guess I just have to pay those dues as well.

Tomorrow I take my tests--typing, filing, math, grammar. Hopefully I'll pass.

By the end of the work day, I've decided that if offered the position I'll take it. But if there are interesting jobs that open in NYC, I'll apply. And to supplement my income, I'll look for a part time weekend job--perhaps in a bookstore or maybe my current temp agency can find me some data entry jobs to do on saturdays at some office. Also, perhaps the Obama campaign needs some part time paid data entry people? Probably not, given the enthusiasm for him, I'm sure there are plenty of people who are willing to work for him for free.

Anyway, it was a bit of a shock when I heard about the Union dues and piddly wage I'll be making. For a while this morning I was considering accepting any decent offer that might come from Michigan, but I'm at peace that I'm going to be basically poverty bound for the next 6-12 months.

Apathetic day

Today was pretty much a crawl as I went from home to work to lunch to work and home today without much thought or enthusiasm. Routine can make one a sleepwalker. I think my state of apathy had two root causes--one: I'm waiting for Wednesday to come around to find out if I'll be able to apply for the job at the Guild and two: Alas, I didn't leave the square this weekend, which I aim to do. Nothing like locking myself in my boundaries. I'm going to make sure that if nothing else, I get on a downtown bus saturday and visit the main branch of the public library.

Waiting Game

Well this coming week should see an end to a couple of waiting games. Wednesday I'll find out if any internal candidates applied for the open position at the Guild. If not, the ball will start rolling for me to get a permanent job. But if there's a qualified internal, then my assignment will wrap up and it will be on to the next.

Univ. of Michigan sent me an email on July 4 (not a good sign in of itself) informing me that more officials are on vacation so no decision will be rendered until later this week or the week of the 14th. That's fine.

If I do get the job at the Guild, one of the first things I'm going to do is buy a radio for my cubicle. Friday I had to endure listening to my co worker MA talk all day with another employee about cute nieces and adorable babies. Nearly every anecdote ended with an "Awwwww!". That radio of mine is going to be tuned into NPR, classical and jazz stations to serve as an intellectual anecdote to the plethora of cloying cute conversation I'm going to have to endure.

Rignt now I'm reading Race by Studs Terke. Published in 1992, Race served as a "sequel" of sorts to his mid 60's book Division Street-America. Once again, Terkel interview primarily white and Black residents of Chicago and asked about their opinions and stories about race, progress, class. I read the book about 10 years ago and given the rise of the Obama candidacy, I thought it would be good to revisit Race and Terkel as Terkel has roots and great sympathy in community organizing in Chicago, which is where Obama started his career.

Dancing tonight

This will be short as in a half hour TCM is going to show the 1939 movie The Dancing Coed starring on the brink of stardom Lana Turner and the man who would be the first of her 7 husbands, Artie Shaw.

So You Think You Can Dance was overstuffed tonight with routines. I wished it had been an hour show with each couple going once. Mark is still my favorite of the dancers and he did well, but Katee and Joshua had the best dance of the night with their Mia Michaels dance--so fiercely performed.

Comfort and Thayne and Matt and Kourtney are sure to be in the bottom 3. Not sure who will be the third, but I'll guess Gev and Courtney.

Comic Books

Last week, the co worker whom I've discussed here loaned me one of her comic books/graphic novels. The first part of the reissued Batman series by Frank Miller. I promised I would read it even though I've never cared for comic books. So this sunday I sat down and read it. The artwork was impressive and Miller has a good sense of plotting and generating some suspence. The material is certainly not geared to little kids. And I enjoyed how the Catwoman subplot was weaved into the story. The comic ends with a resolution of one storyline, but with others unresolved. Very much in keeping with soap opera plotting.

However I just didn't care much for it. Despite the adult themes, I found Batman to be juvenile and simplistic. Despite the plotting, the medium of comic books is still geared toward the simpleminded and comics' popularity amongst those who aged beyond early adolescence is an indication of cultural infantilization. Excessive fantasizing about superheroes who can provide a deus ex machina type resolutions to problems is just sad after a certain age. I like my escapism as well, but I prefer that it would be somewhat grounded in how the world really is. As for this noir version of Batman, I rather read James Ellroy for a more nuanced take on crime and the city.

The Waiting Game

Last week I sat around waiting to find out if any internal candidate applied for the open position within the Guild. Someone did and passed the tests. But the good news is that the guy who applied works within the office and now his position is open. Now I have another week or so to wait. I've been assured no one internal will apply for it because it's entry level. Yay, I'm going for the big bucks! But as I wrote after I got fired, I'm willing to start all over at the bottom if it the work's in a field I'm well suited for. And as a former actor with the gift for pushing paper, I'm well suited for the Guild.

No word yet from UM. Hopefully they'll make an offer to the other candidate.

Had another depressing conversation with my mother sunday. My father is in the hospital again. No particular reason, he's just sitting around waiting to die. It's all in his head. I think if I compromised and headed back to Michigan I would be making the same mistake my father made long ago. I remember one time he told me he always wished he had been able to live in a large cosmopolitan city like Paris. Well he settled for Kalamazoo and he did well there. But then he and mother chose to retire to Hillsdale. My mother wanted to recreate the ideal image of her childhood hometown. My father moved because he was mad Western Michigan University practiced affirmative action to fill his spot on the faculty. What a stupid reason to move. Shortly after they moved, my father instantly regretted leaving Kalamazoo and was thinking of moving back and living in an apartment. I wish he had. He's never been happy there. He had his work to keep him occupied and breakfast out every day. But now he no longer has any interest in writing. He just sleeps or feels sorry for himself. What a sad, pathetic way to wind down a life. When I think of other people I've met in NYC who are in their 70's, 80's and 90's who are still engaged with life and keeping busy, I just get mad at my father. Perhaps he might be still be in the same mental state if my parents had stayed in Kalamazoo, but I would like to think he would be a little bit happier. I might be a selfish, ungrateful bastard for refusing to move back to take care of them, but I don't want to end up like my father, stuck in a place for years on end out of obligation and committment. Emphasis on Committment.

When fandoms degenerate

I'm a huge fan of The Supremes. In fact, a good chunk of my internet time has been devoted to forums dedicated to obsessive discussion of the premiere female singing group of the 60's and 70's, most specifically, supremestirfry, a yahoogroup I co-moderate.

The women who were in the group are all getting older and they're doing less and less. A couple of them are completely out of show business, while others are voluntarily or involuntarily winding down their careers. Thus product has been reduced. Furthermore, just about anything that they recorded for Motown has now been issued. So what's a die hard fan to do?

Produce their own product.

And oh how homemade can it be! A year ago, Florence Ballard's sister Maxine self published a memoir about Flo. It was poorly written and repetitive and featured anecdotes no one really needed to hear such as the girls' problems keeping their Kotex rags inserted during their periods. As a result, the book is now referred to by fans in the know as "The Kotex Khronicles". Other self published books have also come out, many of them written by die hard worshippers of Diana Ross seeking to even the score for Mary Wilson's books which provided a rather slanted and negative take on Ross.

Worse are music projects. One fan adopted a parrot and is teaching the parrot to sing the background parts on Supremes songs. Another fellow over in England has just recorded a CD worth of Supremes covers. Thin and pitchy do not begin to describe his vocal shortcomings. He has a MySpace. Go to the site and put in a search for Leo Boyle if you want to hear his take on these songs.

Finally, some filmmakers got together to shoot a movie entitled "In the Name of Love". It's a fictional take on the reunion of Diana Ross, Mary Wilson and Cindy Birdsong. It's a very low budget movie. Trailers for the movie can be viewed on youtube. The project is sincere, but alas, judging by the clips on youtube, little better than public access TV. A couple months ago the producers of In the Name of Love spent some money by booking a theater on Times Square to screen the film. I'm sure in hopes of getting a distributor. As far as I know, no one picked it up. I wonder if and when this movie will get another screening. Given the positive message of the movie, the makers might want to market it to church groups.

I'm fascinated by fandom and how fans find ways to participate in their idols' careers. Most of the projects I described are essentially harmless, but I worry that these fans might be deluding themselves when they put such time and effort into these woebegone projects. If their goals are modest, good for them, but if they're hoping that they will return The Supremes back to the top or to get rich from their project, they're sadly mistaken. It's best to remember the group for what they are and be cognizant that while the group may be number one in their own hearts, the larger popular culture moved on years ago, even if the group is fondly recalled and has etched a place in American pop culture history.

The Heat is On

Well my last blog was way too angsty. Actually I'm in a good mood. So here's some Rita Hayworth strutting her stuff in a number almost as hot as Put the Blame on Mame.

Pressure

Today I called up my sister to wish her a happy birthday. We don't speak very often as we are not close. There's no tension or feud or anything else of that sort, we're just 10 years apart in age so by the time I was becoming a somewhat functional child, she had moved out for college. I love her but our lives are very different. She's led a stable life, done all the right things (worked for the same company for over 20 years, risen through the ranks, married a good man, helped raise his kids). She has a nice life, all in all, and she's stayed in the midwest her whole life. She's had the burden of having to take care of my increasingly ailing parents all these years as I've been far away.

Well with the job loss, I was motivated to look for work in Michigan. That has raised the hopes of my family that I might return and share in the burden. My sister asked how my job search was coming and updated her on my situations with the UM IRB and the Guild. She asked if I would consider Columbus OH. I said I would and she gave me the names of some R & D companies that might have internal IRBs. As we kept talking I could feel the walls closing in. She remarked that it would be best at some point I get back on the other side of the Mississippi. On the plus side, that means NYC, but I've a feeling she would prefer (and by extent my parents would prefer) Michigan or Ohio. I changed the topic of the conversation to my sister's summer vacation plans as I was overwhelmed with feelings of suffocation. I may be a selfish SOB, but I just don't want to move back there. I don't belong there, I rather stay out in LA and struggle. In a way, it's flattering they want me to be closer, but if I did move back there, I don't think much would change. I'm very bland around. I shut down and tend not to express any strong opinions. As if I encounter problems, they're not people I would turn to. In the past 10 years, when I had to face something difficult such a bad health problem or a relationship bust up or my job going to hell, I confided in others and either kepy my parents and sister entirely out of the loop or informed them of the event a few days if not weeks after the fact. Case in point--my dismissal from UCLA. I called and emailed friends first--family was informed later on. That speaks volumes on whom I consider those I can turn to for meaningful support. Now it seems they're beginning to turn to me, but I don't feel that it would be reciprocated.

So You think you can dance Top 16

IN the third week of competition, enough couples have been weeded out and enough couples have had enough chances to get out there to establish themselves that I can now pick a favorite to root for.

Mark is my favorite. His lyrical hip hop routine with his partner Chelsey to "Bleeding Love" was the dance of the night. They're a great partnership but Mark is incredibly talented and such a committed performer. He's very quirky yet oddly sexy. He's the one who has the potential to surprise every week and I hope he makes it to the final.

I enjoyed the latin dances by Gov and Courtney and by Joshua and his partner, though the old freestyle head that's me wished that Gov and Courtney had danced to the Cover Girls' version of Wishing on a Star rather than Rose Royce. I also liked the opening hip hop by Twitch and Kherington, even if Kherington needs to watch the smiling.

The comic book contemporary routine was also interesting.

Chris and Comfort, Will and Jessica and Thayne and Chelsea were the weakest tonight. I think they'll be bottom 3 and while solos can change everything, Jessica and Chris are in the most danger of being sent home.

I was annoyed that the judges told Will he's finally showing some personality. The past two weeks they've showered him with praise, not he's just beginning to show personality? He's talented, but he's been getting an easy ride from the judges, no doubt due to his Debbie Allen connection.

I love Cat Deely as the host. She isn't bitchy, passive agressive or touchy feely with the male contestants like Ryan Seacrest.

Chrystos

I've blogged several times about my co worker with the bad boundaries. I haven't really discussed what she looks like, but ever since I met her she reminded me of somebody and now I know who it is.

Chrystos.

Who is Chrystos? Well for starters, click on the subject tile of this post and it will take you to a site discussing her work. She's an esteemed "dyke identified native american poet".

How did I come across Chrystos? Well, she was the commencement speaker at my friend Kurt's graduation ceremony from San Francisco's New College School of Social Psychiatry. The school was steeped in identity politics so it stands to reason why Chrystos would be invited to speak.

Her inspiring message to these graduating, aspiring psychiatrists: Psychiatry as practice does more harm than good and that those with mental problems would be better off shutting themselves in a room by themselves for several years rather than go to a shrink. Oh yeah, in passing, Chrystos discussed being raped at the moment of her birth which furthered her disenchantment with the Medical Profession.

Not your typical graduation address, but I have to give Chrystos credit, she sure gave a memorable address and the same can't be said for most graduation talks, which are formulaic and steeped in cliche.

Gilbert and Garbo in Love

MGM came up with a great title for this 1928 filmed adaptation of Anna Karennia (sp.). Last night TCM screened the John Gilbert/Greta Garbo silent
film "Love". First time I've seen Garbo in a silent and she's so much better silent than talking and she's breattakingly beautiful. She and Gilbert were a hot couple
on screen and off. I'm not sure if Gilbert is all that handsome, but at
certain angles he's very attractive. He has the most beautiful and intense dark
eyes and he fills out a soldier's uniform really well. As a bonus,
TCM shows both endings to Love--the American "happy" ending and the
European "tragic" ending which is faithful to Tolstoy. Back in my days when I fantaszied about being a big movie star, I envisioned myself playing the title role in a biopic on John Gilbert. Ha! I sure had great commercial instincts. Still, his story would make a great movie--hammy silent screen lover done in by sound and becomes a self loathing and self destructive dipsomaniac.

I should have stayed home and Fame Junkies

It was hellaciously hot here in LA this weekend so I stayed out of the sun and read two books.

First I completed McCoy's I Should Have Stayed Home. I was wrong in my assessment of the roommate Mona. She was not a hooker. Rather, she was a wise yet idealistic rabble rouser who rallied for the Screen Actors Guild. Of course she pays a price once the producers sign an agreement with SAG. Mona gets the best speech in the book as she rallies against the influence of the fan magazines and how it sells a false dream of easy stardom to the naive out in the hinterlands. The protagonist Ralph is the embodiment of naive--a young Southern hunk who comes out to Hollywood to become a star despite having no life experience and a thick Southern accent. Ralph's innocence and naivety are sometimes grating but by the end he finally wises up though his predictament is bleak.

Once I finished "I Should Have" I read Jake Halpern's 20007 non fiction book Fame Junkies. The book is divided into 3 sections. The second part and the least interesting, is focussed on personal assistants of the stars and various others who feed off the world of celebrity. The third part focuses on fans--those of the casual US/People/OK readership and the fanatics who latch their identities to a particular performer. In Fame Junkies, Halpern profiles a die hard Rod Stewart fan who has a room set aside as a Rod shrine, travels all over the world to see Stewart in concert and is a prime force in getting Stewart a star on the walk of fame. Her husband admits that if he hadn't force himself to become a Stewart fan, their marriage would have dissolved long ago. The chapter on the Rod fan made me realize (again) that for some people, star worhip is a religion and if anyone makes fun of this worship, you'll be courting the same sort of rage that devout Muslims express when a Danish paper publishes cartoons of the Prophet.

However the first part of Fame Junkies held the most resonance for me, given what I just read in the McCoy novel. Halpern examines the world of talent conventions/cattle calls where parents pay lots of money for their children to perform for agents. Sadly, very few of the kids are tapped for a follow up appointment, yet many of the kids and their families believe that stardom is just around the corner. Many of them, just like the characters in I Should Have Stayed Home, get their ideas of how the star system works from media, in the case of The Fame Junkies, shows like ET and Access Hollywood. It's all rather sad and pathetic.

I guess if I land a permanent job with the Guild and end up fielding phone calls, I should keep the lessons and portraits of the McCoy and Halpern books in mind as I'm going to be dealing with them.

Got that one wrong!

Well so much for my skills as a So You Think You Can Dance prognosticator!

Susie and Marquis got the boot. I can understand Susie receiving the axe. She didn't seem to fit in on a show where ballroom, hip hop and contemporary predominate. She had also lost her fire in the past week.

Marquise was robbed, at least on the basis of his solo. His solo tonight suggested a combination of last year's final 2 men, Neil and Danny. He's not as talented as they are, but Marquis gave the best solo tonight. However, he was weak on partnering, though his match up with the older and more jaded looking Susie was a horrible mismatch. Perhaps he might have fared better with one of the more wholesome looking gilrs?

UM sent me an email. The decision makers are all on vacation until June 30. They'll decide then. Yay, passive procrastination, my favorite!

I'm reading 'I Should Have Stayed Home" a bleak 1938 novella by Horace McCoy. It's the story of a young man lured to Hollywood for a screentest. He bombs and is blown off by the studio official who lured him away from his Georgia hometown. Now the young man works as an extra and sleeps on the couch in an apartment just off Vine belonging to a shady young girl who's an extra by day, and I suspect, a hooker by night. Like McCoy's masterpiece, They Shoot Horses, Don't They, this is a very bleak slice of LA Noir.

Long day and I'm tired

Got up an hour early to prepare for my webcam interview with Univ. of Michigan. Though there were a few sound glitches, we pulled it off, though it only lasted a half hour. I think I did alright, but ...... I don't know. I'm really ambivalent about it all. I hope they offer the position to someone else so I don't have to make a decisio, but I think fate is telling me that's it's my turn to man it up and I'll be the one who's going to have to make a choice. To be continued.

This week's So You Think You Can Dance was better than last week. I'm starting to get more familiar with the couples. My favorites are Chelsey and Mark. Especially Mark--he has a very unique presence to him, very artsy which I like. Also, I really enjoy when Mia Michaels is a judge. She's crazy and pretentious and bitchy and out there, but so passionate and not afraid to be her unvarnished self. And she was dead on correct when she told Carrington to not smile throughout an entire number. A lot of people have problems with people who are not always smiling. Back in my bar days, I've had more than one occasion in which I was standing around either bored or lost in thought and some stranger comes up to me and orders me to smile. I believe in genuine smiling, mindless smiling is a turnoff and something I will not indulge. My, aren't I on my highhorse tonight.

Back to SYTYCD: the most likely to be booted tomorrow--Jessica and Marquis.

Late Chet My Funny Valentine

Here's a youtube of Chet Baker performing My Funny Valentine live in Tokyo not too long before his fatal fall from a window in Amsterdam. Not sure how long this clip will be up at Youtube, so enjoy it while you can.

Observations on a couple of LA people I see

I've now lived in LA for a little over 5 months now. Given that I live, work and shop in the same area, certain passersby have become common sightings as I go about my daily routines:

1. Insipid Children's Musician: Every day I take lunch at Hancock Park/La Brea Tar Pits. Most days there are school groups visiting the Tar Pits and Page Natural History/Pre History Museum. Every day without fail there's an older man armed with a banjo or an acoustic guitar plucking away at his instrument singing saggy whimsical children's songs that easily get on my nerves. Mostly the children ignore him, though there are occasions in which the teachers/chaperones force the children to sit before the musician and listen to his music. Fortunately, I'm armed with my ipod and can shut out his music. But the times I've heard him bring back memories of this horrible ad I used to hear on the Classical Music station in San Francisco. This musician was hawking tapes of children's music in which each tape would be personalized for each child whose parent buys a tape. To the accompaniement of an acoustic guitar and a cheap casio keyboard, the man would whine "A is for Apple, B is for Brittany (that's you, heh, heh, heh)". All I can imagine was that there was a child molestor lurking on the airwaves. The man in the park has the same vocal style. Fortunately (I think) this vocal approach to performing children's song is hardly unique so I don't think it's the same guy.

Chet Baker: Over the past couple of months I've observed an older man, very lean, with a head of thinning blonde hair and a highly wrinkled yet high and finely chiseled cheekboned face walking on Wilshire between Dunsmuir and Hauser. He generally wears a pair of pressed blue jeans and either a white or black turtleneck accessorized with a matching belt. On saturday, he was on my downtown 20 Wilshire Bus ride. The man seems ill or strung out or on methadone. Perhaps I make that observation because he so eerily resembles Chet Baker in the last years of his life and Chet was certainly strung out or getting my on methadone during attempts at sobriety. I love Chet Baker's music, but what a harrowing life he led. I think the man on the street has a similar life story. His face certainly tells a sad story.

A little good news--my co worker informed me that if the guild brings me on permanently I would be relocated to another desk so I can sit next to the woman who trains Membership Assistants. The desk is at the other end of the office!

A couple of quick notes

Aieee! University of Michigan emailed me. They still want to interview me for that job. I guess I should do it.

I was told by the Guild I'm good there until the end of the month. I let them I would be interested in staying there permanently if the woman I'm filling in for decides not to come back.

I reset the comments settings here so that anyone can comment.

15 new downloads

Here's a novel concept for a blog post--my most recent downloads from itunes. It's been a while given my current economic situation, but since I'm allowed to play my ipod while at work, I need a few new tunes so this morning I bought a $15 itunes card and downloaded away. I'm sure there's a site out there where one can enter their most recent downloads and receive some sort of personality analysis. I'm not sure if I would want to enter my list below (complete with youtube links):

1 "Magic" Robin Thicke

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-P1--dJylI

2. "Fade Into You" Mazzy Star--link below is a fan video fusing the song with great footage of Fred Astaire and Rita Hayworth dancing--one of the best youtube vids ever.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7kKVBZUVWxQ

3. "Digital" Joy Division

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=btzIdZpln6k

4. "Theme to A Walk on the Wild Side" Elmer Bernstein

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHLgUyE9pfI

5. "Ally, Walk with Me" The Raveonettes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-3fmjjk4aA

6. "How Many Words-DJ Dan remix" Blake Lewis

Can't find a fan video on you tube, but here's another remix of the song by Dave Aude:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21OceDzsEgI

7. "Bad Sun--Moon Version" The Bravery

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hz4pmZoJaIk

8. "The Ocean--Moon Version" The Bravery

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5SzVRN6c4SQ

9. "This Boy's in Love" The Presets

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NlDZumpQY_4

10. "Clocks" Coldplay

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9j_RZDqYc4

11. "Viva La Vida" Coldplay

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-S-Q00kGic

12. "More than the Stars" Natalie Cole

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SywrURdHKJU

13. "Everlasting" Natalie Cole

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4celOxKCeQ

14. "Love Overboard" Gladys Knight and the Pips

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XPlsdPqBLT8&feature=related

15. "The World I Know" Collective Soul

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUSiZt4S5dw

Won't be going back to Michigan anytime soon!

Well a week has passed since I told University of Michigan I would be interested in a second interview. I haven't heard back from them so I can only conclude they offered the position to someone else.

Thank God!

I really didn't want to move back there. If I had, I would have felt that the past 13 years would have been for naught. I left Michigan for a reason. I no longer belonged there and my visits in the intervening years served as reinforecement. I would have ended up feeling very lost and isolated if I had gone back. Not that I didn't have such feelings after UCLA cut me loose, but in the past two months I've begun to feel as if I'm setting some roots here. They're very shallow at this point, but I'm starting to feel grounded here. I've managed to create a village type life style in the middle of Los Angeles. Oddly enough, I was speaking to Marilyn, the front desk person at the Job Source Center today and she was telling me about how she would like to retire to an oceanside village here in So Cal so she can experience the pleasures of small town life. It seems to me if one can live, work and shop all in the same walkable area, you have found a village type lifestyle, no matter how large the official population of your town.

Anyway, my current job hunt strategy is pretty simple right now--hold tight at the Guild and keep pestering the social services agency regarding the database admin position.

Boundaries

My co worker behaved very well with me during the work day, but after work she walked with me out of the building and asked me why I wasn't into comic books and superheroes. I said they've never appealled to me. Suddenly she was cross examining me about why I'm so dismissive of comic books, fantasy and sci fi. She's concluded I'm very closed minded and not open to new experience. Given what I know of her background (she's lived with her family her entire life) I guess it takes one to know one. I finally shook her off without cussing her out (as she deserves) but the day is coming soon where I'm going to have to stop being polite and tell her to respect some boundaries.

One strange bird

More about my co worker whom I discussed last week.

Well, she's not asking probing questions about my upbringing and her respect for my boundaries is better than it was two weeks ago. But she's still a very strange bird.

Yesterday afternoon I asked if she enjoyed her weekend. She mentioned she had bought some vintage toy cars of some make (not Matchbox). I didn't recognize the brand. She was shocked and asked if I ever played any normal games as a child. OK, maybe her boundaries are just as lousy as ever. I assured her I did, I just don't recall makes of toy cars that me and my friend Dickie used when we played "Crash Up City". I think I put her mind at ease and she went on to talk about how she likes to collect toys and mementos from her childhood as she takes comfort being surrounded by such objects. I asked if she shops ebay or goes to collector conventions. She said she would never do anything like that. She'll buy these old toys when she's out and about shopping in her community.

This morning when I came in I greeted her, as I do everyone, with a polite and friendly "good morning". She remarked that I'm always "chipper". I never heard that before. I was bemused. She thought I was hurt and insulted and apologized profusely. I told I wasn't insulted and she should stop beating herself up. She told me she must beat herself up because she shouldn't be going around hurting sensitive people like myself because I didn't come from a rough and tumble family like hers where people express their love for one another by razzing each other.

OK. I spent much of the rest of the days connected to my ipod as I can only take so much weirdness.

Good thing I did. Later in the afternoon I emerged from ipod land. My coworker asked me what time it was. I answered. She noticed I never wear a watch and wonder how I keep track of time. I told her that for years my co workers in New York wondered how I was able to get back from lunch within my allotted hour. I guess I have a gift to keep track of time without help. She said I possess a "rainman" skill and she's convinced everyone has a "rainman" skill and proceeded to discuss how she's able to put babies to sleep. A few minutes later she apologized for comparing me to rainman and said she didn't mean to hurt me. I told her no need to apologize for comparing me to a movie that won a Best Picture Oscar-- a winner is a winner. She looked at me incomprehensibly. Though she considers me emotionally fragile, I must intimidate her on some level. I hope that's true.

AT the end of the day, she had a public sitdown with her supervisor and complained how unhappy she is at the Guild. Her supervisor seemed exasperated to have to deal with this at the end of the day. Maybe she'll take the initiative and go find a job where she'll be happier because right now, despite her bravado, she seems miserable. It's never too late to overhaul your life if you can summon the will (or alternately, the tenacity if circumstances take charge of the life overhaul).

Cooling down

I noticed that in the past week with the end of the primary season and the withdrawal of Hillary Clinton that election coverage in the media has become a lot less intense. Thank God! I hope the next couple of months will be more low key and that coverage won't step up until the conventions at the end of the summer. The election season is way too long, and it's especially absurd in this era of modern communications and rapidly dwindling attention spans. It won't happen, but wouldn't it be great if in 2012 the primaries, conventions and general election be packed into a 4-6 month timespan? But it won't happen--too many people depend on a "permanent campaign" to make their fortune, or worse, to give their lives meaning and purpose. Those who fall into the latter category, are, to some extent, already existentially extinguished.

Val Lewton

This weekend I was engrossed in the book Fearing the Dark, a biographical overview and critical analysis of the life and work of RKO B unit horror film producer/auteur Val Lewton. His most famous films include Cat People, I Walk with A Zombie and The Body Snatcher. His productions are renowned for its literate screenplays, tense fright scenes and reliance on suggesting horror rather than graphically depicting such scenes. His films had a strong influence on one of my favorite genres, Film Noir.

My favorite Lewton film would have to be The 7th Victim. Not so much for the plot, but for its ambience and characters. The film is set in Greenwich Village. Nearly every character is lost and lonely in an urban environment. The character who touches me most is the poet Jason Hoag, a man who managed to publish one volume of poetry. The volume failed and he's been floundering ever since, spending his days in a survival job and his evenings in an Italian restaurant entertaining the guests. The man is lonely. One of the most poignant scenes is when the heroine of the film, Mary, comes to his apartment. He is so glad to have her visit and is eager to share the view he has from his skyroof. I guess I really relate to Jason Hoag in many respects as I'm, truth be told, a failed writer, and live a pretty solitary existence. Nearly every character in 7th Victim lives a solitary life, except for the coven of Devil worshippers who make up the horror element of the film. 7th Victim is a bizarre, sad, depressing but enriching film and well worth viewing.

So You think you can dance

Rather than write another post about temping, let's change gears. My summer reality show So You Think You Can Dance is back. The top 20 was announced. The guys don't seem as hot as the ones they found last year. Amongst the girls, I like the Texas hip hop dancer Comfort and I find the Miami latin dancer whose name I don't know to be a good candidate to get the first boot. I feel bad that the 18 year old who gave such a muscular audition didn't make it through as he was amazingly talented. Well it should be a fun summer of viewing. I got my show to watch!

To Burn or not to burn those bridges?

Good news, the woman who sits next to me behaved relatively normally today and respected my boundaries. Hopefully this is the end of the drama.

During my lunch hour I ran into two of my fellow temps from my residuals gig in April--Neisha and Shawnese. It was good to see them and catch up. Residuals did not bring back the suck whom I wrote about early last month, lol. Shawnese managed to throw a nice b-day party for her 6 year old and she's navigating all the red tape in order to get her job back at LAX. Neisha's pregnancy is coming along--her boy is due in September. She's still getting tired though. Hopefully she won't have to go to bed rest. Sadly, Neisha told me that Amy, whom she befriended during the first residuals gig, has left LA. Amy moved out to LA around the same time I did. She moved with a promise of a job, but it fell through due to her credit situation. Which is ridiculous given that the position she was taking had nothing to do with finance or handling funds. Amy's gig in residuals was her first steady stream of work since moving to LA. However, her dream was to establish herself as a photographer. But the finances were shaky and she had to leave LA and move back home. I really hope she gives LA (or NYC--her boyfriend's there) another shot once she gets her affairs stabilized.

Amy's story really resonated with me for the rest of the day. When I got home there was an email from the University of Michigan IRB. They want a second interview with me via webcam and they're going to contact my references. I replied with my consent. But after I hit send, I realized I don't want to move back to Michigan and I don't want to work for an IRB, ever again. Not really. Well, I must be practical. But I want to stay in LA. I don't want to be like Amy and have to go back where I came from. And unlike Amy, who's fresh out of college, I'm not a spring chicken. I'm not going to have many opportunities to make over my life. Before I left today, I got an email for an internal job opening. I'm going to inquire tomorrow what I as a temp need to do to get the interview. If I can secure an interesting position at the place with a decent livable wage and health insurance I can stay in LA and I kiss off the IRB world forever.

And how I would love to burn my bridges! Last night I sent an email to the Professor who maintains the Institutional Review Blog. I praised his latest post and briefly described my experiences in IRB world. He wrote back and invited me to write a "guest" blog. If I can get myself away from IRB, I'm going to do it. I feel like playing with matches--metaphorically speaking, of course.

Bits and Pieces

Tonight I was supposed to see NY singer/songwriter Chris Ayer at this lounge near where I live. However, he cancelled as he's had health problems the past few weeks.

UCLA has a couple of job openings at their IRB, including Administrator for the "South" IRB. The woman who had been in charge of the South IRB has moved over to one of the medical IRBs. Though I found her far more intelligent and action oriented than the "North" IRB administrator, she was also more emotionally volatile. Three weeks before I was fired, I was on the receiving end of a hissy fit from her because I had the noive to ask her where the tape recorder was. It was one of those moments during my time there when I should have walked out and quit on the spot. I wonder how she's going to handle the pressure of being the lead administrator for a committtee that primarily reviews cancer studies? Also, I'll be very curious if they promote the South coordinator to the administrator position. The coordinator was the person in that office who had become so mentally warped from the office's emphasis on policy and procedures that she was rendered unable to answer simple yes/no questions with a simple yes/no answer. Well given that the North administrator (whose domain includes protocols submitted by the History department) didn't know that Vietnam reunited following the defeat of the US backed South regime, I venture to say that the South Coordinator has a good shot of being promoted, lol.

More weirdness from my co worker who sits next to me. Again she pretty much ignored me, though she made a couple of caustic comments. Then at the end of the day, she waited for me outside the building to tell me she isn't talking to me because she wants me to have good days at work and not be afriad of her. Really, can't she just act like everyone else in the office and either ignore me or engage in small talk or work related talk? Too much drama going on here. Oh, and a sad little tidbit about her: Yesterday, an aspiring new member called to get a quote for joining. The aspirant lives in Oakland. My co worker had to ask where Oakland was in order to determine if the aspirant fell under the jurisdiction of the Hollywood branch. Oakland is hardly podunk. Alas, the guy across from my co worker didn't know either so I had to tell her Oakland is a city directly across the bay from San Francisco and therefore the person should pay the SF branch rate. How could someone live in California all their life (well over 50 years) and never hear of Oakland? I get the sense that I'm to get a permanent position at this place, I might be better suited for another office within the organization.

Shipping Guy Love

Last year on American Idol, I was a HUGE Blake Lewis fan. I searched the net for anything Blake related. Which is admittely immature and ridiculous and rather crazy.

Well I discovered a little subculture in my search for all things Blake. There's an internet subculture primarily composed of straight women who like to pair up male celebrities in sexually charged romantic pairings. These fans, called "shippers" write porn, fiction and poetry. In addition, they like to phony up pictures to make it look like the men were caught cuddling or kissing or they like to make youtubes with footage capturing a look, a glance, a moment of body contact. I find it fascinating that there are women out there who would get off on things like that.

Of course my favorite shipping is Cake, the pairing of Blake Lewis and Chris Richardson. Not only did they look great together, but it was obvious to all they were quite besotted with each other, even though I doubt anything happened between them, but their mutual affection was so obvious for one another.

Here's another interesting pairing--The Killers' Brandon Flowers and Dave Kuenig. Their shippers like to call their little on stage interactions "boy love". Enjoy the video:

My Co worker

In my last post I made mention of a co worker of mine who's taken a rather strong interest in me, given that I'm just a temp. She's been working at the organization for several years now. Prior to that she worked 20 years for a customer service phone call in center. She's live her entire life in LA and has only left LA to visit family in Northern California and El Paso. She's single, but lives with a sibling and her family. She admits that she rarely goes out nor does she go to movies or watch TV. She spends her spare time doing family activities, playing computer games, reading and streaming video on the web.

She's over 50 years old.

Yet she's a very warm and friendly person. She's excellent on the phone dealing with potential new members. But her world is rather limited. She finds me rather astounding, given that I've moved several times in my life, often for no other reason than the sake of accumulating some life experience. I do not come from a close, tight knit family. I'm not a physically expressive individual and I can be quite cold and intellectual in my speech, especially among those I just barely met. In other words, I have boundaries. It takes time for me to let people get close to me. She finds this sad, and perhaps she has just cause. Last week she pumped me for a lot of info about my family, how I was raised, what we did, how we treated each other, how we expressed affection for each other. Given that I'm doing very routine and repetitive clerical work, such conversation was stimulating and afforded me the opportunity to reflect on my upbringing, which I haven't done in some time. Yet I also feel her questions reveal more about her than any of my answers revealed about me. There were times where I felt she crossed the line as she would get to teasing. I'm not above self mockery, but at a certain point, we're in an office situation and she needs to back off. What I resented at times last week was that it seemed she was hoping to mold me into something that she could understand and fit into her world. If I learned anything in my life it's to learn to take people for what they are and respond to them accordingly rather than be utterly baffled. We all come from a wide variety of backgrounds that help shape us. I think given (based on what she has told me) her restricted life experiences, she seems prone to view the way she and her family relate to each other to be the appropriate template for all families to emulate. Given how innately intelligent she is, it's a shame she was never adventurous enough to get out of LA and away from her family for a few years and try living life in which she would have to build her own support base from scratch. Perhaps she might have a different take on someone like me.

Fortunately today at work she kept herself busy and did not bother to chit chat with me or anyone else. I wonder if it was because the workload was heavy, or if she was instructed at last friday's staff meeting to lay off me? I guess I'll find out as the week progresses.

UM Interview

This morning I had my interview with University of Michigan. It went well. They sound like they got their act together in comparison to my previous IRB. They've been electronic for 3 years. I'm a long shot to get the offer due to being in LA.

No word from JVS which is not encouraging on many levels.

Very tired so calling it a night. But at some point I'm going to post about a co worker of mine as I'm trying to make sense of her.

Ho hum

Still at my temp assignment. Spent most of the day stuffing envelopes. Not the most stimulating activity. Though I'm glad to have a place to go everyday, I'm looking forward to doing something a little more demanding and for some better pay in the not too distant future. Tomorrow I have an interview with the University of Michigan and apparently I'm still in the picture for the Jewish Vocational position as the HR Department was out all last week. Truth be told, I would like to stay in LA rather than make another move. At the risk of sounding like Po Bronson, I would like my time out here to have some sort of purpose. If UM offers me the position, I'm going to demand they compensate me for all moving expenses.

ON Craigslist, there was a job listing for the IRB at Children's Hospital LA. The same position I interviewed for last month. I wonder if they hired someone and they didn't work out; or everyone they interviewed last month wasn't suitable; or if one of the staff members who sat down with me last month gave notice and quit?

Magic

Robin Thicke has a new single out--Magic. I think it has potential to be this summer's quintessential song. I love it--has such a late 70's feel good disco soul vibe to it.

No pity party tonight

Uneventful day at work. It's a bit of a grind, but comforting nonetheless. Watched the Idol final tonight--terrible show, all those boxing analogies were just overkill and bringing in Clive Davis and Andrew Lloyd Webber to coach just reinforce how old and tired the show is right now. I voted for Cook (first votes of the season) but I suspect Archuleta will win.

University of Michigan IRB contacted me--they want to interview me. I've decided that if they do offer me the position I'm going to demand they pay for my move to Ann Arbor. I've learned my lesson.

At times, lost and adrift

Over the past few days, feelings of being lost and adrift have really intensified. What am I doing here? How did I end up doing IRB work for 9 years? Why am doing clerical temp work right now? In truth I've not lived up to my potential and my talents and I'm paying the price for drifting through life. Not sure if it's fixable. I've put up a lot of walls in my life and I fear that they're so high I can't get over them. Well, don't we all build our own prisons? Just some remain with their fellow mates while others tend to dwell in solitary confinement more often. Pass me the stale bread and filmy water.

The new assignment

On friday I returned to my first temp assignment,now in the Membership Department. I'm not fully set up but they kept me busy with data processing. They're still vague as to why the person I'm replacing went on leave and how long she'll be out. There is a big backlog of work so I should be kept busy. The woman who sits next to me is kept occupied the entire day fielding phone calls from new members. I wonder if at some point they're going to be put on the phones? Not sure how I feel about that. The most interesting material I processed were Leniency Committee disposition letters. Members who fall behind on their dues have a mechanism to appeal for leniency in paying up back dues. They write letters (full of emotional appeal from the few letters I glanced) at and the Committee meets every two weeks to consider each case. Sounds a lot like IRB, but with more drama and hopefully more straightforward rules and regs. I'm going to investigate this Leniency Committee--sounds like the kind of work I can administer.

Last fall before I landed the UCLA job I interviewed for an IRB job at Cedars Sinai. They never contacted me for a follow up interview. I'm not sure if it was because they felt I wasn't a good fit (and if their culture was similar to UCLA, I wouldn't blame them) or because I was in New York at the time. I just applied for an open IRB Analyst position. I've got nothing to lose. I'll be curious if they call me or not.

Smoldering hot all weekend. I'm wrapped up in the book Pictures at the Revolution by Mark Harris, which profiles the 5 Best Picture nominees of 1967 and how Hollywood and the American Cinema were and were not changing during this time. I remember when I first became an old film buff in the early 80's and how I disdain the cinema of the 60's as too modern. Now it's vintage history and I'm into it! I also amused myself with watching John Garfield in They Made Me a Criminal and watching the TCM documentary on Garfield's life which is an extra on the Postman Always Rings Twice DVD. Next weekend I might just watch Force of Evil and Body and Soul. Garfield was so ahead of his time and such a dynamic, sexual performer. Here's a tribute:

Better day

Much better day today. For starters, I got out of the apartment. Several times in fact. I checked my NY unemployment card--money was deposited into my account. Yay. Best of all, the agency called me. I'm to return to my first assignment for an open ended gig. I'm to fill in for someone going on leave. I'll be in the Membership Department rather than Residuals. Not sure what exactly I'll be doing, but I'll be occupied 5 days a week for a little while, which is better than sitting at home surfing the net and applying for jobs, amongst other sundry duties. Best of all, I want to work at this place and this is a foot in the door. The agency told me that my supervisor on first gig recommended me to the Memberships Department, so I guess I made a good impression. Hopefully the work will be interesting, but pleasant.

I went to the vintage clothing/used clothing store on Fairfax in my quest to find a hat. No luck. Emile, my friend at the Kosher Newstand and fellow refugee from Michigan, suggested I try out a couple of places on Melrose near Martel. Looks like I've got places to go this weekend!

Had dinner with my friend John at Swingers Diner at Beverly and Laurel. Swingers is connected to the motel where I stayed last summer and this past December. I felt I've come full circle. I really do like the Fairfax, Grove and Miracle Mile areas of LA.

A wasted day

This morning I woke up, logged on to the net, checked my status with NY Unemployment and my claim was processed and approved. Unfortunately later in the day I got a form in the mail I have to complete and then NY sends the form to my last employer to complete. Since this was sent out before my telephone conversation tuesday I'm not sure what to do. So I finally step out of the apartment and go to an ATM to see if there's any money on the card account they sent me. There isn't. The NY website is down right now so I'll have to check back in the morning. Perhaps they don't deliver the funds until the end of the week? Or is there still more red tape to go through? If so, looks like I'm going to have get off my ass and harass agencies until they give me a long term assignment.

I'm rather loss and adrift right now. Don't know what I want to do. In one way I've regressed to my early 20's when I was working part time jobs in a microfilm place (mornings) and the UM Survey Research Center (evenings), while I spent my afternoons sleeping and playing solitaire. Yes, I pulled out the playing cards this evening and played solitaire while watching A Shot of Love and America's Next Top Model. What do I want to do with my life? Part of me just wants some job in a pleasant office where I can do organizational, project type work for 35-40 hours a week then be able to go home and pursue my esoteric interests and be left alone. Not very ambituous, but really, I just want peace and quiet in my life and plenty of time to dwell in my own self absorbed little world. I admit it's rather sad and lonely goal in life, but I've accepted my lot in life. Anyway, I'm sure this feeling will pass.

Some good news--my former boss in NYC got a job offer at another IRB, this time on her side of the river. I'm so happy as she enjoys IRB work and she'll have an easier commute. Hopefully they'll treat her better than what was dealt to her during her last 3 months at WCMC. One nice thing--she sent a broadcast email to everyone in our old office--good to get Arlene's contact info--I sent her lengthy email. Hopefully she'll respond.

I finished White Dog--very intellectually stimulating novel. Gary's ability to put across his ideas in such clear and succinct language is quite intimidating and I feel totally inadequate in detailing my response to the book other than to say it was well worth reading.

Not sure what to read next. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. As the cliche goes, if I want something I have to go out and get it because I'm surely not going to get anything just sitting in my cave playing solitaire and watching trashy tv shows.

Freestyle

One of my favorite things about New York City is that it was one of the homes for Freestyle music and Freestyle is still loved amongst those who loved it most back in the day. What is Freestyle? It's a latin based electronic dance music--loads of hooks, chord changes and electronic effects. Some of it sounds very dated, but it's great, addictive dance/pop music. It never became as popular as hip hop and pretty much died out in the early 90's. But in NYC at least, you can still hear Freestyle on a couple of radio stations and one station, KTU, at least the last I heard, would play blocs of Freestyle on weekends. Here's my favorite freestyle song: Silent Mourning by Noel--love the footage of him dancing on the roof--I really miss seeing those water tanks on NYC rooftops.

Bad Sun, the Moon

For my second post I attempted to embed a youtube but failed. Now I have the patience and certainly the time to read the help section. So here's a link to Bad Sun by The Bravery. This is the Moon version of the song which is just as catchy, but the production and musical arrangement are superior.

Should have looked it up

Stupid me. I got it in my head that Molly Malone's was at 3rd and Fairfax and I ended up missing Pawbox and Johnny Nails. Of course I could have looked it up, but I walked out of my apartment and headed over there on foot. It wasn't there so I walked down Fairfax until I got the shabby and run down rest home at the corner of Fairfax and Colgate. I concluded that maybe I should have headed in the other direction. I turned back and didn't find it. When I got home I looked up Molly's--it's at 6th and Fairfax, a half block from the depressing rest home. Idiot. I didn't feel like hiking back over there. So I'll try some other time to catch Mr. Nails. May be just as well--I should be watching my expenses.

I called NY Unemployment today and I think I got my benefits payment situation untangled. Hopefully. The woman I spoke to sounded like she's utterly bored with her job. She told me I would get benefits for this past week. But I wouldn't be surprised she said that to get me off the phone so she could shut off her computer and head home (it was getting near 4PM in NY when I called). I'll check the website tomorrow--I'm not up to going there tonight to find out she may have lied to me. I sure have trust issues, don't I?

Didn't do much in terms of job hunting today. I registered at the USC site and applied for a position. I'll go back to the site tomorrow--it just occured to me that USC has a Cinema Archive--I really belong in such a setting.

I have a new momentary quest now that my Molly Malone's/Johnny Nails expedition proved a bust. Instead of getting drunk, I want to buy a vintage hat. Everyone in LA is wearing them. I'm meeting a friend at Swingers thursday for dinner. Perhaps I should go to this Vintage clothing/second hand clothing shop at the corner of Fairfax and Oakwood before meeting up with him. If it's cheap, stylish and it fits, I'll buy one. And probably feel like a fool 6 months later.

To the next adventure

My latest assignment ended today. No surprise. 7 hours of envelope stuffing, labeling and sealing. None of my agencies had anything lined up for me. So back to the internet (with frequent breaks for surfing) tomorrow to job hunt. If I don't land an assignment for Wednesday, I'll have a choice to make--Idol or Molly Malone's. I just realized that I never properly celebrated getting fired--namely, getting blasted drunk out of my head, which I haven't done in a long time. There's a bar near where I live called Molly Malone and who's playing there but none other than Blake's guitarist, Johnny Nails, and his band. I've become quite a fan of Johnny Nails as I subscribe to his fan email list. His bulletins are beautifully written full of wry, off the wall, yet accurate observations and musings. He's got good stage presence so I ought to check him out up close and besides, I owe it to myself to get suitably smashed. But I'm addicted to Idol, but at this point it's going to be David vs. David, I got my boards to read the summaries and you tube to watch the performances. But I end up having someplace to go Wednesday, then it's Idol, but if not, then I really should drag my middle age carcas out and about for one night.

By the way, I'm reading a very interesting novel written in the late 60's--White Dog, by Romain Gary. He was Jean Seberg's second husband and an acclaimed author in his time. I can understand why. White Dog is a very readable yet intellecutally engaging novel about a stray dog, trained to attack and kill Blacks, who shows up at the door of Romanin Gary and Jean Seberg while they're in LA as Seberg is making a movie and getting further involved with radical chic causes. I'm about 60 pages into the book and it's going to be pre-occupying my mind for much of this week.

Envelope stuffing

Well my one day temp assignment is now a two day assignment. Instead of doing mail mergeing, I stuffed envelopes friday. But there's so many invititations to send out for this benefit golf tournament and only one temp on the job, me, that I'm working tomomorow. No complaints here. The office is quite pleasant, 3 blocks from home, and I'm up on the top floor with a window view of LA east of La Brea. Hopefully it will be more clear tomorrow than it was on Friday so I'll be able to see Mt. Angeles in the distance.

Phillipe's

Unlike yesterday, in which I gave a very convincing performance as a shut-in, today I got out. Registered at a temp agency and later in the day, I got a one day mail merge assignment at a non profit office 3 blocks from home. Who knows, maybe I'll get a longer lasting assignment starting next week.

But highlight of the day was going downtown to Union Station and walking over to Phillipe's, an old school LA restaurant--home of the famous French Dip sandwich. I loved the place. You get in line, order your food. It's served within minutes, you pay your bill then you take a seat at a communal table. I stuck with the basics--a cup of Chili, a beef french dip sandwich, a dill pickle, and a pepsi. It was filling, tasty, and affordable for an unemployed guy like me. AFter eating, I walked around the place--it's simply and sparsely decorated with early to mid 20th century LA memorbilia. I felt like I was back in the hey day of the film noir era (being near Union Station helped--that was the site for important scenes in two of my favorite noirs--Criss Cross and Too Late for Tears). Anyway, before I left I bought a roll of Life Savers and briefly chatted with the candy counter cashier. She was very friendly and urged me to come back. She didn't have to persuade me because that's what I intend to do. Here's a link to their website:

http://www.philippes.com/

Lame day

Sad to say, I didn't do much today. Got up,surfed the web, took a nap, surfed the web, then summoned the energy to shower and shave and take a walk. I was about to write that I didn't even speak a word out loud today, then I remembered that I called University of Michigan today to find out whom to send a cover letter to. Whew, at least I spoke to someone, but otherwise, I was pretty much a shut in.

I'm not handling unemployment well, am I?

A better day

Today was certainly better than yesterday. I filled out paperwork at a second temp agency and set an appointment for a third agency this thursday. My first temp agency got word I applied for a position at my recent assignment and they told me they would push for me (of course they got their own reasons, but that's reality). I applied for a couple of positions at University of Michigan which would suit me well. I got some replies to one of my posts at IRB forum. And someone called me back from this office where I want to apply for a database administrator position but their notice lacked submission directions. Hopefully I impressed them with my attention to detail. In short, I was acknowledged today and that's always a good ego boost. I'm sure I'll be in the dumps tomorrow.

American Idol was pretty lackluster tonight. David Archuleta has a really good tone to his voice, but his performances are so robotic. Fortunately he appeals to a very easy to please audience, but unfortunately, his audience is also very fickle and most of them will outgrow him. I hope Jason Castro leaves--he has a genuine persona (especially in comparison to Archuleta) but I get the feeling he wants out of there. But I suspect it will be the end of the road for Syesha, but I've been thinking that for a month now and she manages to hang on.

Well going to get off the net now and finish up Arthur Hailey's novel Hotel. Haven't read it in years--still a good story and now something of a time capsule of what hotels were like in the 1960's. Given my taste in popular fiction, I swear I must have been a mid 20th century American housewife who died far too young and immediately took possession of my baby soul because I sure like my Arthur Hailey, Harold Robbins, Grace Metalious, Sidney Sheldon and Jacqueline Susann!

Adrift

I don't take well to being without work. Spent much of the day in a state of low level depression. The deep set morning fog didn't help matters either.

Dropped off my application at my last assignment and went to the Jobsource office in the building. The front desk person gave me a lead on a position at Jewish Vocational Services, though the lead did not provide info on how and where to submit a resume. I called, left a voice mail, and I doubt I'll get a callback.

The computers are still down at the agency so I called the downtown office. The guy who answered offered me a data entry position for $12/hr at some office downtown with the shift starting at 6AM! I passed. How depressing that jobs pay that low for such an absurd hours.

I'm tempted to call Cornell and ask for my job back. Fortunately I got an email from my former colleague Lucie which drummed some sense into me for the moment. Apparently my old office is a revolving door as people are getting hired and quitting soon afterwards. Alas, the physicians at the med school wimped out about having a meeting to resolve the situation at IRB.

I posted two topics at the IRB Forum. At this point, they're still waiting to be approved. I suspect they won't because even though I was as neutral as possible in presenting my topics, the discussions forum seems really focussed on helping IRB administrators deal with immediate problems and not to think critically or analytically about larger issues. Micro vs. macro.

Tomorrow I'm going to try to summon the energy to contact a couple more agencies. Though I wonder if it's worthwhile if all I'm offered are low paying data entry jobs with lousy hours. Work can provide dignity yet it strips it away.

Job hunting again

My assignment ended friday and the agency had nothing new. So I'll be spending this coming week hunting for work, contacting agencies and essentially existing in a state of worry.

NY threw another wrench my way, though understandably so. They need verification that I was employed January-April so tomorrow morning I'm sending off copies of my pay receipts. Hopefully it will pass muster and there'll be no more roadblocks to getting unemployment when I need it.

I'm filling out a job application for the firm where I was at the past 3 weeks. One fo the forms I must fill out is an authorization for a background check. What a shame that matters have degenerated to such a degree. Everyone is so risk adverse these days. Yet another symptom of why the US is in decline.

I've registered with IRB forum. I've got some questions for the IRB Professionals. I wonder if any of them will respond. Most likely I'm lighting the match to burn the remainder of my bridges to the IRB world. At this juncture, I think the only IRB related job I could obtain would be with an organization that seeks to reform/overhaul the IRB world and I doubt any such organization exists.

This promises not to be a good week.

Will we or won't we?

At the assignment all week we were told that friday would be our last day and that there would be no more work. Well today, a new temp came on board and he told me that the assignment was indefinite. WTF?! Anyway, it made for a weird atmosphere at work today as now no one knows if tomorrow is the last day or not, and whether anyone will be asked to stay on. If some of us are asked to stay, I wonder what the criteria will be?

I'll find out first thing tomorrow before I fill out my time sheet. After all, there's a checkbox indicating whether the assignment is complete or not.

Trickling in

Got some good news--State of NY has cleared up the paperwork and I'm eligible to receive unemployment benefits. Good thing as it doesn't look like I'll have another temp job lined for next week. Looks like I'll be spending next week getting registered at other agencies.

Sad to say, but I have no idea of what I want to do to earn an income. I fell into IRB work back in 1999. Looks like I'm relying on a similar plan--wonder what I'll fall into this time? Hopefully it will be more compatible with my interests.

Things are wrapping up on my current assignment. It's been interesting talking to my fellow temps. The rumors that are flying. There's a possibility a couple may be asked to stay on for a while. There's one who really wants to be added so she can at last get herself settled in LA. I really hope she's asked as she's worked her butt off. There are a couple of others who ought to be asked to stay on as well, if indeed there are openings. They work hard and efficiently. I wouldn't mind being asked, but I'm too slow--I lack the rapid 10 key entering abilities of the others. The guy I described in my monday post is lobbying hard--being very friendly with the permanent staff and stepping into the office of the man in charge. His politics is rather obnoxious and reminds me of this woman I couldn't stand at my old job in NYC--she was all politics and little ability, but she managed to climb the ladder until finally the insane woman who took over my office got some sense and made life hell for her. Anyway, at least this guy is good to look at as he goes about his plan. If he is asked to stay, it better not be at the expense of the woman who most deserves to stay on.

There's another temp who intrigues me. He moved to LA from Texas about 8 years ago and seems to have been temping and doing various AA jobs ever since. He's very gregarious, though often the butt of jokes amongst the staff. He seems to take it in stride. Yet he's a contradiction. ON one hand, he complains about the work and how low it pays, yet he refused two better paying assignments. His rationale being that he doesn't want to alienate the agency. Yet there are hundreds of other agencies in town, and one of those assignments could be a better fit for him and for all he knows could lead to permanent employment. The guy also tends to put his foot in his mouth--he's prone to making inappropriate comments such as when he told a pregnant temp it will be sad when she has her baby. Huh? But he is a good soul--he enjoys life in LA in comparison to what he had in Texas. He seems to have friends in many parts of the world. He's active in his church. And he told us a story about a neighbor whom he took to Marie Callender's for dinner after her husband was brutally murdered. But underneath, I sense a lingering, suppressed anger. The cause of which I don't know, I can only speculate. I suspect he's a virgin and very lonely, despite what he's told of his life. Maybe one day he'll return to Texas? In some ways, he's a more social version of an old roommate of mine from my days in San Francisco, but that's the subject for another post. Anyway, one thing's for sure, chances are slim that he'll be asked to stay on at the temp job. But if he's asked to stay on, I'll bet he jump at the chance, despite his dissatisfaction and complaints.

Neil Diamond night American Idol

I thought tonight's Idol was pretty dreadful. However, I've never liked Neil Diamond's music much to begin with.

Best moment: Paula giving her critique of Jason's second song and getting confused when told he hadn't sung it yet. I did notice she tried to give serious critiques this evening.

Second best moment: David Cook flirting with Ryan during the Q and A. I think La Seacrest will be in a wonderful mood at the office tomorrow. I think SeaCook is this year's answer to Cake.

I think Brooke redeemed herself with her second performance tonight. I liked David Cook's second song. Archuleta gave his fans what they want and he's obviously emulating Kristy Lee--I wonder if he'll become slutty next week? Syesha was in good voice, but she's a theater singer, not a pop or R and B singer. Jason Castro was the weakest tonight.

I think either Syesha or Jason will be going home tomorrow night.

Click, click, tap, tap

The life of a data entry operator. There's a guy at work who's working really hard to get picked up permanently. He started just last thursday. He gave his card to the head of the office and whenever he has a problem that needs to be fixed, he's chatting up staff. Yet, on friday, he argued with staff on how to go about the work. And at the end of the day, he spoke out on how unfair it was that he wasn't asked to work extra hours. So today, he reported at 8AM and will work until 6. All this week. One of my fellow temps called him a "white guy who thinks he knows it all". I wonder if the permanent staff thinks the same? I was surprised he was even there today given his arguing on friday. Perhaps they don't want to bring in and train a new temp with one week to go on the project? I'll be curious if he will be asked to stay. I'm keeping my fingers crossed as I feel comfortable there (and I love the commute) but I expect to be seeking a new temp assignment next week.

Lazy, lazy, lazy sunday

This weekend I had good intentions to go to Westwood to attend the LA Times Book Festival. Didn't happen. My excuses?

Temperature was sunny and low 90's. I don't like being outside in that kind of weather.

Reluctance to revisit the UCLA campus.

And I got sucked into America's Next Top Model marathons on MTV. There's something about that show I find so addictive. I enjoy watching the journeys the contestants take--a number of them grow up and/or become competent beginning professionals. I find it all quite touching, especially girls who either discover much to their surprise that fashion modeling is their calling in life, or alternately, a girl who realizeds that her girlish dreams of modeling are not what she really wants.

Today MTV aired Cycle 3, with the best final 2--Eva and Ya Ya. I preferred Ya Ya--she reminds me of a former colleague of mine back in NYC, but I understand why Eva was picked as she's got star quality. I do wonder what happened to these girls after the show is over and done with?

Worthy?

While I was doing my entering and processing at SAG, I had plenty of time to think. There are times when I think they'll find a mistake and tell me to leave. Or they realized, quite accurately, I'm not as fast as the others and ask me to leave. I guess I'm still baring some scars from earlier this month. Then again, I always felt like a fraud while doing IRB work. I'm good at pushing paper, but I didn't really care much about the content, though the occasional interesting scenario would come up. I obviously got some self esteem issues, but then again, I use those feelings of inadequacy to attempt to do well.

Still, I think the UCLA situation forced me to face the truth--I really don't belong in the IRB world any longer.

One more week of SAG then???????

This weekend I'm going out to UCLA to attend the LA Times Book festival. Wonder what that will be like. I spent a part of this afternoon daydreaming scenarios of what would happen if I encountered one of my former UCLA "colleagues" at the Fest. Well, it helped the time go by quickly.

creativity

Earlier this evening I read about Jean Seberg's experiences making Lillith, in which Jean plays the title role of a mad woman. To prepare for the role, Seberg visited a mental hospital in Maryland. One patient made a striking impression on Seberg. The woman often thought she was God and as a result, she spent much of her time knitting to make ovaries, livers, stomachs, hearts and other human body parts. Fascinating.

For several years I've been toying with a story idea about a woman who is suddenly discovered and launched into stardom. The ballyhoo fails and she's left to pick up the pieces. I don't know how to start the story. Perhaps I should begin the story near the end with my protagonist checked into a mental ward where she encounters a woman who thinks she's God and knits human body parts?

Another week

Found out today that my temp assignment has been extended another week. The 15 minute walk to and from work has me so spoiled.

Still reading the Jean Sebert biography. I've an idea to write a novel about a self destructive type. I had such a character in my unpublished/unrepresented novel that I wrote a few years back. There's something about self destruction that really draws me in. To have so much talent and adoration, yet one still makes choices in life that ultimately do them in. I probably have such a streak myself, though at least I don't have much talent and certainly no mass love!

Quiet day

Logged in my hours at work doing my entry. Right now I find the repetiton quite comforting and the content is a more natural fit than my 9 years in IRB world. I'm just going to have to embrace that I'm reinventing my life. In a sense I'm too old to be doing this, but I've always consider myself someone who doesn't embrace what is conventional. So I guess I have to live by my principles.

American Idol was intersting tonight. David Cook is the most talented and in a perfect world should win. But this is not a perfect world and Archuleta is still the front runner as he has the most ardent AI voter in his camp, the young girls. And for the first time this season, I really like Syesha Mercado. She's got a future in theater.

And speaking of Idol, I'm reading the biography Played Out by David Richards. It's about Jean Seberg, the actress discovered by director Otto Preminger to play Joan of Arc after a worldwide talent search which culminated in an announcement on Ed Sullivan. In a sense, Jean participated in an American Idol like search with a coronation televised on National TV. St. Joan flopped and Seberg's career floundered for two years until she re emerged as a French film star in Godard's New Wave classic Breathless. Unfortunately she died a suicide in 1979 at the age of 41 after enduring years of mental illness and torment. Very sad story. As the cliche goes, beware of what you wish for, you might get it.

Preoccupied and lazy

Well so much for posting every day. Since I last posted, I've applied for a bunch of jobs in NYC, LA and Ann Arbor. I attempted to file for unemployment in NYC, but it's caught up in red tape thanks to a data entry error from someone at my last job. I registed at a temp agency and I'm doing a two week data entry assignment at an office near where I live. The easy commute has already spoiled me rotten. And despite my promise that I was leaving IRB forever, I applied for a job at the IRB office at Children's Hospital LA. They interviewed me last week. I think it went OK, but probably talked too much about UCLA. Also, I really blew the question on what my mission/purpose is in pursuing further IRB work. I haven't heard back yet, nor have my references been contacted so I think I can forget about this job. MOre proof that I really should leave IRB forever.

Hopefully I can get another assignment from my agency for next week. If not, I 'll register at another agency to broaden my prospects. I think I'm going to be temping for some time. The hoops one has to jump through these days to get a job.

Job hunt day 1

The last time I was without a job was 1999 when I moved to New York. Times sure have changed. Everything is online, including temp agencies. And unemployment benefits. That would be great as I remember the other time I filed for Unenjoyment in 1995 when I moved to San Francisco. The unemployment office is one of the saddest places to be. Unfortunately, California has a policy that if you worked in another state the past 18 months, you have to file by phone. And there have been cutbacks at the Unemployment office and the phone lines are jammed. I couldn't even get into the que to file a phone claim. Try again tomorrow.

Today I spoke to a contact in New York (yeah, despite my blog name, I'm already considering moving back), emailed my resume to three agencies and registered at the Kaiser job site. Next, I'm heading out to buy a Backstage West--perhaps there are some actor/writer friendly temp agencies that still advertise. If so, I'll visit their websites tomorrow and apply.

I'm very pessimistic right now.